From the Brim to the Trim - Pinging Budgets and Stinging Opponents Alike

(Kelsien, the Plague| Illustrated by Chris Rallis)

Kelsien Takes a Bow

Greeting and salutations from the country led by someone whose name sounds a bit like macaroni! I'm Arnaud, and I’m thrilled to take you on a journey of uncanny brews, budget cards, and usage of EDHREC’s filtering features.

This is a special one, the first of the two August articles. Soon, I'll be doing absolutely nothing in a lost town somewhere in the middle of France. Therefore, last time I asked you to choose not one, but two commanders for these upcoming articles. I wouldn't want to leave you hanging in the heat of the summer, would I? Long story short, this poll ended up really one-sided. Saint Traft and Rem Karolus & Moira, Urborg Haunt apparently did not really spark your interest, with only 25% of the votes. Neither did Dynaheir, Invoker Adept & Savra, Queen of the Golgari, just short of 30%. No, you people want to draw blood, to show no mercy, to go for the ALMIGHTY PIIIIIIIIIING!

Ahem, I'm getting sidetracked here. Anyway, with 44% of the votes, Kelsien, the Plague & Moritte of the Frost took a comfortable win. Therefore, let's dive into the sneaky secrets of this week's winner.

Well, this is a refreshing change. Gone are the beefy commanders; this is a puny 2/2 that grows stronger the more experience counters you have. And, it can ping. And, it has vigilance and haste. And...well, nothing too impressive individually, but altogether there is potential for some nasty shenanigans.

The full list on EDHREC provides a solid 308 cards for us to start with. Let's start with the painmaking and see what we WON'T be playing, shall we?


First Trim: The Cardboard Chainsaw Massacre

 

If this is your first time here (and if so, welcome!), the core idea is to play no cards worth more than $1. In this particular case, Kelsien, the Plague does truly hold up to its nickname, as many, many synergistic cards will have to go. On a more expensive note, I'm sad to wave off to Goblin Sharpshooter ($16.90), Thornbite Staff ($24.30), Steelshaper's Gift ($9.70, WotC, why did you have to make this a rare in Commander Masters?), Magewright's Stone ($8.70) and Basilisk Collar ($2.10). All very solid assets in a deck that wants to ping, ping and ping anew.

I'm also slightly annoyed at the sheer volume of cards standing between our limit and the $1 threshold. At the time of writing, there are no less than 31 of them, which, obviously, will also need to be cut. There are some true gems in there that might eventually dip, and that a savvy player might want to keep an eye on. Here are my top 10 cards in the list.

  • Phyrexian Arena: Some say this is a bad spell and that you're better off getting immediate card draw. I say you need to keep your hand filled, and this helps a lot.
  • Vorpal Sword: Forget the last ability, unless you get a lucky hit. For three mana, you get a boost in power and deathtouch, which is the key ability you're looking for in this deck. Missed the mark by a puny three cents.
  • Harvester of Souls: Yes, it's six mana. But given the machine gun you're trying to set up, this will also provide a decent stream of cards. And it has deathtouch, so thematic...
  • Puppet Strings: A versatile artifact, which will make sure a threat does not head your way or allow you to reuse your commander.
  • Mari, the Killing Quill: Guess what? Kelsien is an Assassin! This means that Mari gives him the much-coveted deathtouch AND provides potential ramp and card draw. If these two don't have the spark to hit it off, then love does not exist.
  • Armored Skyhunter: There are a few key Equipments we'll need, and this nifty flyer digs deep to find them.
  • Death Pits of Rath: This is a double-edged knife, but given that you'll be pinging more than your opponents, I think it's worth it. Plus, it deters from attacking and/or blocking, as it virtually gives deathtouch to every creature.
  • Patriar's Seal: This two-in-one is quickly becoming an all star in more and more of my decks. Getting mana or pseudo-vigilance and the option to re-use activated abilities? Absolutely.
  • Forge Anew: You dealt with my stuff? No problem. And I'll swap these Equipments around, thank you very much.
  • Glaring Spotlight: There's nothing more annoying than a creature that you can't target. While this will not circumvent Shroud, it still takes care of one of the most "ugh" abilities in this game.

As I said, these are some nasty cuts already. Heck, I run most of these in my own Kelsien deck. Still, I hope we'll have enough stuff left to build something threatening enough.

With 157 cards left, let's move on and see what Mother Stinginess has left us to work with.


Second Trim: Cardward Scissorhands

So, once more, we're saddled with the usual homework. After this painful trim, let's see where we stand in terms of building materials.

Draw: 12, including Reconstruct History.
Ramp: 16.
Removal: 25, strictly speaking, plus the deathtouch arsenal.
Wipes: 5.

This is an interesting situation. I don't feel like cutting any of the draw outlets as this deck needs a steady flow of cards to keep the pingers pinging.

Ramp is ok, we'll cut 4 spells and be done with it, as the final curve is unlikely to be that high.

Removal, on the other hand, is where we're going to carve a big hole. As our commander is already a potential removal tool, we don't need that many more outlets. I'll be happy with keeping 6-8 of those at most.

Wipes are ok; we can cut a couple.

On to it then.

Removal Ramp Wipes

Bedevil Burnished Hart Cleansing Nova
Crackling Doom Forging the Tyrite Sword Merciless Eviction
Dire Tactics Mardu Banner
Disenchant Savai Crystal
Fracture
Mirrodin Avenged
Mortify
Rakdos Charm
Return to Dust
Rip Apart
Royal Assassin
Shriveling Rot
Terminate
Tragic Slip
Utter End
Vindicate
Wear // Tear
You Are Already Dead

 

As usual, I'll also reshape the manabase, adding a few much needed basics and cutting the slower lands.

Some of you might wonder why I decided to cut Forging the Tyrite Sword, which acts both as ramp and a tutor. I simply find it too slow. Three turns to go get the Equipment you need is simply too long, and two Treasures for three mana is a hefty price to pay.

With those healthy cuts, we're one step close to reaching our goal. The list now has 140 cards to its name, and it's time to get to the fun part.


Third Trim: Cutting Off the Rough Edges

So, let's have a talk.

At face value, Kelsien, the Plague's plan is quite simple. Ping, ping and then ping again, possibly to death, so that nothing aside from your creatures can survive the mosquito onslaught. To that end, you want to have at least one, if not multiple pingers with deathtouch which will make quick work of any significant threat. You'll then win the game, usually by smashing in with a massive Kelsien or one of the other big boys you have, or simply gnawing at your opponent's life totals. Simple right? Not quite, I'm afraid.

As you may have surmised, this is a very tactical deck. You want to make sure that people have no interest in attacking you, usually by threatening to take their best thing with you to the grave. High life totals and lifegain are not your friends, and while you may sneak in a few infect tricks, you'll be much more comfortable finishing exuberant players off once their spark has been dimmed by the other players at the table. Don't go in expecting easy wins, and don't overextend. Despite the fairly low curve, you're playing the long game, taking out the most dangerous creatures and biding your time, to take the win out of nowhere. Like Kelsien, you hide in the shadows and wait for the proper moment to attack.

With that being said, if you can manage to play a Deathbringer Thoctar and give it deathtouch, by all means, go ahead and turn on the Gatling!

Now that we're on the same page on tactics, let's have a look at what's left in the list.

First, there are a LOT of ways to give your creatures deathtouch. We have 20 spells, divided in three categories: mass, targeted, and instant. All of these have their strengths and weaknesses, mostly tied to their predictability and their mana efficiency. Still, 20 is clearly too much, and that's one section we'll need to cut into.

Second, protection, with 7 spells in this category. While keeping your commander around is nice, its cheap mana cost combined with its hasty nature makes it fairly easy to cast anew, especially if you didn't rush it into the fray. There's some breathing room to be gained here.

Third, the savviest among you may have noticed the small Proliferate package we had. While getting a few more experience counters sounds nice on paper, there are simply not enough outlets to make the strategy reliable. Aside from a targeted removal spell, these cards will usually take a precious slot for an underwhelming effect in the end.

Finally, there's the unclassified cards. While there are many, many great synergies to be found, there's probably some stuff to cut here.

All in all, I'm aiming at cutting 30 cards here. Give me a moment to find my Butcher's Cleaver.

Deathtouch Protection Proliferation Misc.

 

Alchemist's Gift Kaya's Ghostform Drown in Ichor Akiri, Fearless Voyager
Aspect of Gorgon Loran's Escape Grateful Apparition Assault Intercessor
Battle-Rage Blessing Sejiri Shelter Vat Emergence Call of the Death-Dweller
Bladebrand Volt Charge Diabolic Tutor
Falthis, Shadowcat Familiar Whisper of the Dross Eternal Thirst
Offer Immortality Hooded Blightfang
Retreat to Hagra Loxodon Warhammer
Touch of Moonglove Mathas, Fiend Seeker
Virulent Swipe Necrosynthesis
Void Beckoner Obosh, the Preypiercer
Sun Titan
Termination Facilitator

 

You know that point in the deck building process when you hit a wall when trying to remove cards? That moment when your brain goes "Nope, screw it, I'm keeping it as is". That moment hit me at 116 cards. I had the utmost difficulty in cutting the remaining 6 that I had pledged to. And we still have 10 to go. Why do I do this to myself, WHY?


Final Trim: Heart-Wrenching Choices

Here we are then, the final stretch, the last mile, no holds barred, we must get to that 100 mark. More than usual, the final cuts are all worthy inclusions should you choose to give any of them your preference.

Onwards then.

  • Sunforger: Don't get me wrong, this is a great card. But with only 5 instants in the deck, I feel its usefulness is getting smothered by the successive trims.
  • Witch's Mist: While the card is cool as hell and will draw interrogative stares around the table, three mana is a bit too high a price to pay for the effect, recurrent as it may be. Got cut, but still worth a shot.
  • Feast of the Victorious Dead: On face, it looks like it could generate a steady flow of life and counters. In practice, I wonder if it will provide more than one or two at best each turn. Not bad, but not decisive either.
  • Mind Stone: Given our low curve, I feel like we can safely cut this colorless rock, all the more so since our deck is quite color-demanding.
  • Swamp: The curve stands close to the 3-mana average mark, I believe there's no harm done in being a bit stringier on lands. But don't go lower!
  • Faithless Looting: Since we're not playing with the graveyard, I'm not a fan of keeping a card disadvantage outlet in here (get two more cards, get rid of three, including the spell).
  • General's Enforcer: Sure, he does a decent job at protecting Kelsien. And graveyard removal is always a thing. But Kelsien is our only relevant legendary Human, and that second ability is slightly too expensive for my taste.
  • Path to Exile: Yes I know, one of the best removal spells in the whole history of Magic. The other contender was Feed the Swarm, and after much thought I decided I'd rather have to ability to remove a pesky enchantment. A close call.
  • Sorin, Vengeful Bloodlord: I really liked the idea of reanimating stuff while gaining life with our pingers. But in the end, it feels slightly too expensive to justify its stay.
  • Dihada, Binder of Wills: Kelsien is the only real valid target, and already has vigilance. Granted, this is a great way to defend it turn after turn, but Dihada will focus the attention of your opponents, and its minus effects are anecdotal here.

Well, FINALLY! This was a fun and exhausting journey. I feel like Kelsien has drained what's left of my sore summer neurons. At any rate, here's the final list, standing at a proud $26.60.

Kelsien, Lethal Pinger of Mortal Death

View on Archidekt

Commander (1)
Enchantments (8)
Creatures (23)
Sorceries (14)
Artifacts (15)
Instants (4)
Lands (35)

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View this decklist on Archidekt

Final Thoughts

Before I head out to the long forgotten town of Rayssac, I'd like to ask you wonderful readers something. Since the commander for next week has already been decided, I feel this is a good time to ask your opinion on this format. After 9 articles, I'm really pleased to see you people continue to regularly vote for your next favourite victim. But I'm also curious to hear your voice. To vote, my friends, to vote, and see you in two weeks!

Arnaud Gompertz has been playing Magic since 4th Edition, back in 1995. He's been an assiduous EDH enthusiast since 2012, with a soft spot for unusual and casual Commanders. He'll always favour spectacular plays against a boring path to victory. Aside from mistreating cardboard, he's a dedicated board games player, loves a challenging video game and occasionally tries to sing with his choir.

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