Singleton Shmingleton - Braingeyser
August 28, 2023 by
Jesse Barker Plotkin 
(Braingeyser | Art by Mark Tedin)
This One's For the Geezers
Hello, and welcome back to Singleton Shmingleton, where I bend the singleton rules of Commander by building decks with as many functional reprints of a certain card as possible. This week we're going back all the way to Alpha with a card that has spelled the end of many an Old School game: Braingeyser. This card inspired the entire concept of control decks by promising immense value as long as its caster could survive to the late game. The art by Mark Tedin perfectly captures the feeling of resolving a Geyser for seven or eight and reloading on interaction, or hitting a Geyser for fourteen to deck out an opponent. Braingeyser itself is on the reserved list, but that hasn't stopped Wizards from printing stacks upon stacks of almost identical cards, with a new one coming along every couple years. Many of these cards have had competitive success, from Stroke of Genius in Urza block combo decks to Sphinx's Revelation in all flavors of control to Silver Scrutiny in Standard today. Turning mana into cards is a deal that has stood the test of time.
There are a whopping twenty-three cards that cost X and draw X cards. Most are blue, some of them with other colors mixed in, and many of them look almost identical. Here they are:
Braingeysers
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In a sad turn of events, the original ranks third to last with 3,491 decks, beating out only the overcosted Invoke the Firemind and the should-it-even-be-on-this-list Dregs of Sorrow. Even the strictly worse Mind Spring finds its way into more than quadruple Braingeyser's decks, which goes to show that players would probably rather spend fifty cents than almost twenty bucks. Who woulda thunk it? The most played card of them all is Blue Sun's Zenith, which slots into 59,903 decks, though I think it should fall more into the middle of this list. The instant speed and shuffle clause just doesn't outweigh the triple blue cost for me, and I think Pull from Tomorrow or Drown in Dreams is a better pick for most decks.
Blooming Prosperity
Most of Braingeyser's pedigree comes from its roles in control decks, and it fits well in that role in Commander, but there's no deck that wants anywhere near two dozen of this effect if played fairly. We need to find a way to break draw Xs, and for that we can take a look to the early days of Magic. In 1997, before combo decks even existed, several players swept through Pro Tour Paris with a deck centered on the combination of Prosperity and Cadaverous Bloom. One turned mana into cards, the other turned cards into mana, and that was enough to fuel a massive Drain Life to finish an opponent off in one turn.
While it's difficult to replicate this combo in Commander, since it's harder to find a singleton Cadaverous Bloom. there are plenty of other cards that can turn cards into mana. Skirge Familiar lets us discard cards for one mana apiece, Bog Witch nets us two mana for one card once per turn, and the likes of Pentad Prism and Basal Thrull let us store mana for later turns to fuel a big X-spell. We can spend a couple turns developing our mana in between Braingeysers, allowing us to fuel bigger and bigger draws.
We Can't Keep Getting Away With This!
One weakness of this engine is that it's very obvious that we're preparing for it. Our opponents aren't going to see us play Soldevi Adnate into Overeager Apprentice into Cadaverous Bloom and pass it off as nothing. They will rightly recognize that we're putting all our eggs in one basket, turning all our cards into mana, and they will hold up that one blue to Swan Song our Braingeyser. And if they don't catch on the first time, they certainly won't let us build up to the second one. So how can we protect our combo while also using all our mana on huge draw spells?
If the entire goal of our engine is to use mana to draw cards, then we can afford to use cards to cast free spells. Any Legacy player can tell you that it feels good to tap out and still be able to hold up interaction, and the last two Modern Horizons sets have given us enough tools to be able to do so consistently. In fact, why limit our interaction to counterspells? There's plenty of other good free spells.
Here's a list of spells in green, blue, and black that can be cast by getting rid of our cards in hand rather than paying mana:
Free Spells
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Most of these cards are real, impactful spells that can trade one-for-one with our opponents' cards, so now we have completed the third leg of our engine. We use our Braingeysers to turn mana into cards, use our Cadaverous Blooms to turn cards into mana, and then use our Force of Wills to use cards instead of the mana we would normally use to trade for our opponents' cards. This is the direction that Modern has been trending: use mana on big assertive plays and then spend cards to cast free spells to stay ahead.
But How Do We Win?
Unfortunately, drawing a lot of cards does not automatically win the game. This is one of the hard facts that I have to face whenever I think up an idea for a new deck or engine: no matter how cool it is, it needs to accomplish something at the end so you don't die to several turns of combat. Winning is also necessarily the least fun part of a good game; it is the end. In a format of big moves and spiraling value, winning is the limit on how big you can go before your opponents break. But it's better than losing, right? So let's get to it.
There's always the possibility that we'll be able to gather together enough combo pieces to build a Stroke of Genius big enough to deck an opponent, but that shouldn't be our primary plan. Torment of Hailfire and Triskaidekaphile can pull off wins on their own with enough cards and mana as well, but again, we can't always draw them. Our free spells are almost all reactive, and Allosaurus Rider can't get there on its own. Thankfully, another preconstructed deck commander saves the day. Zaxara, the Exemplary pops out huge creatures as a reward for just doing what we want to do, and even ramps us. It combines especially well with the Shoals, making instant-speed tokens even if we cast them for free. It fits in the niche of providing value for as long as we can protect it, and with our free spells we should be able to get it to stick around.
The Decklist
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This deck is... a little slow. A lot of the deck is dedicated to ramp, but the first payoff is a draw spell, usually not a very big one. And sometimes you draw a hand and find all Endurances and Basal Thrulls. But if your playgroup lets you get to the lategame, this deck plays like a dream. Drawing ten cards a turn gives you so many options, and the free spells make you feel so clever. After the third free Counterspell, your opponents won't ever feel safe.
It definitely plays differently from a normal Commander deck as well. Every Braingeyser draws another Braingeyser, so if you don't find what you need you can just try again. And nothing compares to the thrill of every opponent leaning in to read Soldevi Adnate and Outbreak. They're not good cards, but they've got a job to do and they do it well.
Until Next Time
One of the original density-based decks, Fog is a classic strategy that has always lacked a way to win. Let's see if we can rewrite history and build a Fog deck that wins, rather than delaying the inevitable. And thank goodness Arachnogenesis isn't $30 anymore!
Read more:
- Singleton Shmingleton - Skyshroud Ranger
- Preview Review - Mana Sinks (Part One)
- BREAKING: New Simic Commander Lets You Draw a Card AND Play an Extra Land
Jesse Barker Plotkin
Jesse Barker Plotkin started playing Magic with Innistrad. He was disqualified from his first Commander game after he played his second copy of Goblins of the Flarg, and it's all been uphill from there. Outside of Magic, he enjoys writing and running.
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