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Ranking Every Equipment with EDHREC – Part 21: And My Axe!
How Has No One Noticed This Yet?
Uh, hi. Welcome back to this series where we rank every Equipment based on the number of decks they have on EDHREC.
Looks around nervously.
Um, I’m sorry if I’m seem distracted, it’s just… we’ve passed the two-year anniversary of me writing for EDHREC. I’ve been ranking things and rambling on this website for two years now, and no one has stopped me!
Yeah, every Monday I show up and write some nonsense, rambles and gibberish, and EDHREC keeps publishing it for some reason. How does this keep happening? They can’t keep doing this. They have to put a stop to my shenanigans at some point, right?
40:: 5,697 Decks
I’m actually not a huge fan ofin the average Equipment deck. It starts out as a more-expensive-to-equip . That isn’t a bad rate, but then you have to pay two mana every time for each subsequent Axe, which gets pretty mana-intensive after a while. Plus, if your dork dies, you’re almost never gonna have the mana to attach the six or so Axes you’ve acquired. I don’t hate it, but on its own, it is a bit slow.
You may have thought from the previous paragraph that I don’t like this card, but that, my dear friend, is false. It’s just that I am not a coward. If we’re doing this, we’re going all out! I’m talking, , and . I’m talking , , and . What about when we get them Equipped? Let’s play dorks like , and to get double Axes, or even to go super nutty! Look if we’re gonna do this thing, we’re gonna commit to it.
Over, Under, or Just Right? Overplayed: This is no place for half efforts!
39:: 5,799 Decks
If you want your giant beatsticks to get through so badly you’re willing to run, just invest one more in the Equip cost and run a instead. Unless you happen to run into an deck, Helm is going to make your dork unblockable regardless of the board state. No getting stopped by big creatures, or multiple creatures, or flying creatures. You wanna hit for 47, you can hit for 47. The end!
I don’t see a strong argument against running this card over most of the random trample Equipment we’ve seen. It’s not like the cost of this effect is massive. I’ll grant you that the difference between paying one mana for something likeinstead of two mana for this is fairly big, but Helm is also a substantially better card. Helm has a pretty reasonable Equip cost for what it does, so why bother with the diet options?
Over, Under, or Just Right? Underplayed: I don’t even think this card is that amazing, but if you’re running a card that primarily gives trample, and you wouldn’t run, maybe you don’t need the trample either.
38:: 6,158 Decks
If you came to me and said “guess which Equipment are in the top 50,” I don’t think I ever would have said. The cheapest Equipment tend to be some of the most played, so I can partly see why this card is so high, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen this card in play.
If you’ve been following this series for a while, you can probably guess how I’m gonna feel about this card. Yes, this is another Equipment where one of the primary functions is to give trample. You can basically copy paste the bit I said above, but even if you want trample this badly, there’re cards that give trample and do more than this that you could play instead. Evenwill often be better than this.
The other two abilities here aren’t enough upside. Haste and vigilance are both good, but they both are very high variance. Sometimes they just do nothing, and that’s a high risk on a three-mana card. There’re better ways to get all of these abilities, and most of those other options also come with power and toughness boosts.
Over, Under, or Just Right? Overplayed: I’ll give it a pass in. Three mana for haste, vigilance, and trample to the whole team is a bit better.
37:: 6,174 Decks
I think this is one of only two Equipment that don’t actually have an Equip ability. If nothing else, I’m good for Magic trivia.
I am all for Goad, andis probably one of the best Goad cards you could ask for. If you ever have the pleasure of casting a , what you’ll discover is that the game quickly devolves into a mess of blindly flailing creatures, but it also results in everyone’s ire being mainly pointed at you if you don’t protect yourself.
Enter Goad, which makes everyone play by the rules of combat you set while also making sure they can’t end the party too soon. There’s some other weird stuff we can also do with the Blade, like turning it into a kill spell with, but that’s not the primary use of this card. We just wanna make opponents play faster!
Over, Under, or Just Right? Just Right: One place this card does not belong is inbecause it doesn’t work. You can only attach it to opponents’ creatures, and only at sorcery speed, so Karona can never wield it.
36:: 6,186 Decks
and this is not. Sure, is only one more to Equip than , but it’s not like is a great Magic card. is a fine budget replacement for a better, more expensive Equipment, and is even worse than that. It’s like a generic brand replacement of a generic brand replacement! You can do so much better.
Over, Under, or Just Right? Overplayed: I think I’m the only person upset that they printedin the precon instead of .
35:: 6,524 Decks
There’s no way I can talk aboutwith any semblance of objectivity. The variance on is absurd! I swear, it either gets me like five lands in play or does stone nothing. There is no in-between!
I really have no idea how I’m supposed to evaluate this. I could pull out some math and determine how likely you are to hit, but I feel as though this card is a temporal anomaly where math does not apply. Is it good? Is it bad? I’m tempted to give it ‘Overplayed’ so no one has to experience my befuddlement.
Over, Under, or Just Right? Just Right: Shrug.
34:: 6,713 Decks
In my quest to find a better pinger Equipment than , you might think that I would be drawn to , but this is not the type of jank I’m looking for. is not put into decks to help you create pingers, because it costs two mana to actually deal the damage, which isn’t a rate that pinger decks are comfortable with. No, is put into decks for the shenanigans that come out of that second ability, giving your creature additional untaps.
If you already have a the straight-up infinite combos that win the game right away. All of these are fine, and make Staff a very sought-after Equipment.with deathtouch, then yes, will let you kill anything. If you have a commander like who sacrifices things, prompting the Staff’s untap ability so that you can use the ability multiple times, then that’s also cool too. If you want to auto-attach it to the Shaman so she can create more Eggs and blow them up at will, awesome. I haven’t even mentioned
However, it’s not a pinger card.
Over, Under, or Just Right? Overplayed: In conclusion, I’m still upset!
33:: 6,805 Decks
is definitely the of Equipment; it’s incredibly busted in other formats, but fairly medium in EDH. It’s not entirely clear just by looking at this card why it’s so broken, but the answer lies in all the little things. Like how it gets counters whenever the equipped creature deals combat damage to anything, not just when it hits players. Or the fact that it gets two counters each time, and the counters stay on the Jitte itself, not on the equipped creature. Or the fact that you don’t have to use the counters every turn, so you can stack up a ton of them to use whenever and however you want. When you can give any enemy creature -2/-2, or give your own creature +4/+4 at instant speed, it’s hard to imagine any creature being able to defeat the Jitte-wielder in combat. All of these little details make Jitte one of the most busted Equipment of all time, transforming every combat scenario into a nightmare in 1-on-1 formats.
Of course, the creatures in Commander tend to be slightly bigger, the life totals slightly more bloated, and the general atmosphere of Commander is slightly more durdley, so what does Jitte provide for us in the EDH sphere? Well, not nothing, but also, not a lot. The lifegain and -1/-1 abilities don’t scale super well. They’re not awful, and there are probably plenty of scenarios where gaining life and shooting creatures down would be relevant, but there are also better ways to get both of those effects in EDH.
Really it comes down to the +2/+2 ability, which is good but slow. At a baseline level, two counters per turn basically gives your creature +4/+4. At two mana to cast and two to Equip, that’s a pretty good deal. If you don’t need the pump right away, the extra flexibility is just gravy, especially if the -1/-1 effect helps pick off random chump blockers. I can’t even really complain about the price. I thought it was gonna be $100 or something, but $20? That’s whatgoes for these days, so I think people who want it can afford it.
Over, Under, or Just Right? Just Right: I mentioned, another card more famous for its 1-on-1 play than its multiplayer power, and when ranking planeswalkers, I decided to give Jace a pass in EDH. Even if the applications are different in Commander, it’s still pretty dang cool. The ethos is similar here, so I’ll give kudos to Jitte too.
32:: 6,917 Decks
Who’s up for free Equips? I am! I am!
Who’s up for like a pretty solid pump for two mana? I am also! I am also!
Who’s up for Samurai swords? I am indeed! I am indeed!
Over, Under, or Just Right? Underplayed: This card is downright nutty, and for 25 cents, it’s hard to find better Voltron Equipment.
31:: 7,070 Decks
Colorless repeatable? I’m kinda into that. The coolest thing about is that it doesn’t matter where it’s Equipped. We only need four mana to bring back any of our dying creatures. That’s pretty neat! It’s mana-intensive, and it’s awkward to leave up four mana when you don’t know if a creature is going to die, but just introduce a sac outlet and it becomes a weird for death triggers. is probably worth killing and recurring for four mana. can return everything to the battlefield for four mana. I don’t know if black decks want this since there’re cheaper ways to do this even if they aren’t repeatable, but nonblack commanders could probably afford to have access to reanimation on command. Seems okay –
Oh, look. Someone’s at the door. Who could that be?
Why, it’s so many ways to go infinite., and they’ve brought a bunch of friends! brought her and . may smell funny, but he always brings the colorless mana. thought a might bring some jazz to the party, though she does also have a if things get too crazy. is always a barrel of laughs, especially when he shares his and with everyone. Gee, aren’t we just so pleased to see
Over, Under, or Just Right? Just Right: Nobody invite, though.
There’s Always Room For More at This Party!
Well, I don’t know how I’m still allowed to do this whole writing thing, but I remain ever grateful, and I thank everyone that continues to read these articles. I hope to keep doing it for a long while. Let me know in the comments what you think about these Equipment! Are you into? Do you find as maddening as I do? Post your thoughts somewhere on the internet. Until next week, and beyond!