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Ranking Every Equipment with EDHREC – Part 16: Trepidation About Trepanation
Conversations Through the Internet
Sooooooooooo I’m a little bit into Magic, and I rank every Equipment based on the number of decks they have on EDHREC. This includes many rambles, “jokes,” and way more references than I’d ever use in real life. I have no idea how on earth this started or why no one’s kicked me off yet, but until that happens, I’m going to keep doing it. I enjoy it!
Why am I giving this extended introduction? Well, it’s cuz I want to say one more thing: Hi, Liz! You and I are friends IRL, but last week, someone apparently told you that I lurk over here on Mondays. I’d say hi to them too, but I think they would find that weird. I figured I might as well give you a proper introduction to this thing I do! So there you go! I’m sorry I never told you, but in my defense, how on earth are you supposed to bring this up in normal conversation?
Maybe I should just get to the ranking? Yeah, let’s get to the ranking.
90:: 2,093 Decks
I spent very little time talking about the price of the undisputed king of complaining about cards that need reprints, that might be a bit surprising, but Kaldra’s not exactly the easiest thing to reprint, nor would it be useful for 95% of players. The fact that Kaldra only appeals to the most hardcore players means I’ve basically reconciled the fact that it’s very unlikely to get a reprint anytime soon.and when they came up the last couple weeks. For those of you that have beheld my status as
However, I do get a little bit sad aboutspecifically being so expensive because the application it has in random decks is just funny. It’s like a super duper ultra version of . Give this Sword to any repeatable pinger, like , and suddenly you have this laser cannon that can eat even the mightiest around!
Now, that’s not actually that impressive, and it costs a whopping eight mana to cast and Equip, but did you not hear me mention? I don’t want it to be good, I want it to be silly, and if this card were cheaper, rest assured it would be doing many sillier things in my decks
Over, Under, or Just Right? Just Right: It’s even not the worst in, like, a typical Voltron deck. It’s not great, but +5 power is big enough game that I could see it if it wasn’t $20.
89:: 2,150 Decks
Oh, good. Trample’s back.
Look, I don’t love trample Equipment. I gave an underplayed from last week, but that’s because the trample is kinda incidental. The power boost for 2 is decent enough that the trample is a little extra bonus to push it over the edge. It’s important but not overpowering. Here, the trample is the only thing you get when you cast it, and you have to wait forever for it to be more than that. It’s just not worth the card when there’s a lot of scenarios where trample does nothing. It’s too low impact.
Over, Under, or Just Right? Overplayed: I might give it a pass if you have synergy with the counters, like, but I have to think you have faster ways to get +1/+1 counters counters on them.
88:: 2,161 Decks
I accidentally pulled a Doug and did a Too-Specific Top 10 search for Mass Land Destruction, or MLD (Link here for your viewing pleasure), and it looks like is the 5th most popular MLD spell, right up next to and . I suppose you could argue it isn’t technically MLD since it blows up everything, but it’s absolutely part of the cheese of that it prevent opponents from ever interacting again. Let’s just get that out of the way right now.
And look, it’s not really a secret that MLD is going to be a taboo topic at the average EDH table. However, in most decks, Only if you can quickly win the game after doing that.” It’s no fun for the game to be prolonged for six hours, but if you can win in a couple turns, then it’s not much different than a lethal or something.is a type of MLD that is more palatable for some tables. The primary response to, “Can I play MLD?” is still, “Please get out of my house,” but there is kind of a growing sub-current of people that say something like, “
is an excellent example of this. Sure, it might not look like it does that at first glance. It blows up everything on damage, and that includes the creature that was wielding it, so at face value, attacking with this is just gonna send everyone back to the Stone Age, but it shouldn’t take more than two seconds to figure out how to break this. Any creature with indestructible, like , , , etc, and basically reduces the game to that creature versus a bunch of wide open opponents. It’s not gonna take long to end the game after that. If even that’s too slow, lets you keep all your friends around to speed up the process. With these creatures, basically becomes part of a two-card combo, like a + thing. That’s still not something most people are gonna enjoy, but it’s no longer especially egregious.
Over, Under, or Just Right? Just Right: I’m just gonna leaveand here. Do with that what you will.
87:: 2,220 Decks
Slightly cheaper than Frankie Peanuts? Sounds pretty good to me., but still free protection for , , , , and
Over, Under, or Just Right? Just Right: For a while, I also enjoyedas just a budget way to give Shroud in any random deck, but it’s $3 now, so that kinda eliminates that use for me.
86:: 2,236 Decks
Essentially,is just +3/+3 for any commander for Equip 1. That alone is a pretty solid rate for Voltron decks, so you could realistically play it there, especially more budget-focused ones. Obviously, the extra bonus for red creatures pushes it towards those commanders, but I don’t think you have to be red to take advantage of this. As we continue to move up this list, I do like to see a little bit more than making my dorks bigger, but I think Tenza could be doing more work in non-red decks than it currently is at this moment.
Over, Under, or Just Right? Underplayed: Ironically, not seeing much play in admiring his fancy mask, I suppose.. Too busy
85:: 2,258 Decks
Of the rings we’ve seen, replacements for effects like this often cost like $10-20.is definitely the best so far. I mentioned with that paying to protect the equipped creature is a lot worse than just running regular protection, but here I’ll mention that paying to Regenerate a creature is a lot better than paying for temporary hexproof. It won’t help against , but it does help against plenty of popular mass removal, like , , , , and so on. More importantly, the
The protection is decent, and then it’s also got a small (if slow) upside to put counters on your general. All in all, it’s fine. It’s still not amazing, but it’s serviceable for decks that want to protect their commander that much, and those decks definitely exist, even outside of black. For example, evenshows up as commander that occasionally uses this Ring. While I think cards like and are probably better, it’s still okay there. It’s all fine. I’ll be nice to this specific one, I guess.
Over, Under, or Just Right? Just Right: On the topic of protection pieces, I do have a soft spot for. It’s got a zero-mana ability. How often do you see that?
84:: 2,265 Decks
This is literally just. All they did was make it Selesnya and tweak the power/toughness boost. These two cards are basically interchangeable. They stole homework from themselves and did the bare minimum of tweaking needed to call it their own.
Over, Under, or Just Right? Just Right: I actually like. I don’t think you want two of them, but if you’re G/W and prefer the art on this one, you can jam this one instead.
83:: 2,279 Decks
Have you ever read the first word of this card? Trepanation? You know, where they cut a hole in your skull to remove evil spirits? I didn’t realize how terrifyingly on flavor this card is.
Now that I’ve given you that imagery forever, let’s talk fiddled around with the probability for a little bit, and I don’t think the odds are great. It looks like you’re only gonna get +1/+0 almost half the time, and the other half of the time, you’re barely ever gonna get more than +3/+0. That’s a pretty bad rate. Stats-wise, that’s almost always gonna pail in comparison to most Equipment, and even in mill decks, milling for 3 cards a turn is pretty bad. Not seeing much of a use for this one. Maybe someone can show I did my math wrong, or show some special use for this, but this card looks just bad.itself. I
Over, Under, or Just Right? Overplayed: Maybe you can side it in against the Goblin Charbelcher deck.
82:: 2,312 Decks
Keyword soup, thy name is really does not scale well to Commander, so that basically leaves haste, which is good, but if that’s all you want, you can find much cheaper ways to do that.. The issue is I’m not sure I’d pick these three if I had the choice. I’m apparently just destined to pick on trample this series, and I’ve also mentioned that first strike
Over, Under, or Just Right? Overplayed: It’s kinda cute in, but beyond that, the whole thing is pretty meh. Put it on a commander with deathtouch for some defense, maybe.
81:: 2,333 Decks
Wizards… I just… can we talk about this?
Look, all I want is a good Equipment that can make creatures ping things. That’s it. I want to do cool things with. I want to make weird rattlesnake pillow forts with . I want to do incredibly dumb combo shenanigans with . I want to build my own by giving a ping ability to . None of that would be broken. None of that is probably even all that good, to be honest, but it would be very fun. I want to have fun. Is that too much to ask, Wizards? I gave up on getting you to remember that exists, but can you at least just create a decent pinger Equipment, hmmm?
Because, let me remind you, my options for doing that so far have been: The card was a complete lie!, , , , and . The only one of these cards to make me remotely excited was , and that card doesn’t even work! The creatures don’t deal the damage off it.
So then after all that, I’m left with…. It does everything I asked in theory: it has the creature itself deal damage, and it doesn’t have any sort of weird downside, but it still costs three mana every single time you wanna Equip it. It’s perfectly mediocre. I know, they made it mediocre so it didn’t break Limited, but this is all I have! This is the best pinger Equipment. If I want to do any of the cute synergies I detailed above, this is what I have to use. I’m stuck with this slow, clunky, fragile card.
Wizards, do the right thing. I am absolutely not a fan of making other cards obsolete, but you have to give me something better! You can’t leave me here stuck with this mockery of a pinger card!
Over, Under or Just Right? Just Right: I know I already used this, but it fits my soul.
A Sad Song for A Sad State of Affairs
Well, I’ll see you probably sometime next week, Liz! For everyone that’s not Liz, let me know in the comments what you think about this batch of Equipment! Are you as depressed aboutas I am? Are you okay playing against or with ? Let me know in the comments. Until next week!