Too-Specific Top 10 - Sinister Life Insurance

September 1, 2023 by DougY

(Eriette of the Charmed Apple | Art by Magali Villeneuve)

Til Death Do I Benefit

Welcome to Too-Specific Top 10, where if there isn’t a category to rank our pet card at the top of, we’ll just make one up! (Did you know that Screams from Within is the only black Aura that can both kill a creature you don't control and return itself from the graveyard to the battlefield attached to a creature you choose?)

There's no doubt that the main villain of the Wilds of Eldraine story, Eriette of the Charmed Apple, is a bit of an odd duck.

Eriette wants to profit from Auras, but mostly on your opponent's creatures. That would be simple enough, as every Limited environment for the last 30 years has brought us at least one Pacifism variant, but our payoff in this case happens to be... a Pacifism variant! So the question is, what Aura effects do we want to put on our opponent's creatures that will make them unable to attack us but still have us draining everyone a bunch during each end step?

Well, you could just get a bunch of good Auras and hope that Eriette sticks around long enough that it won't backfire on you, but that seems both risky and not that fun. Instead, what bad options do we have?

Top 10 Orzhov Generically "Bad" Non-Pacifist Auras You'd Want To Put On Opponent's Creatures That Don't Immediately Kill Them In Most Cases And Also Keep Them Classified as Creatures

Darksteel Mutation
Parasitic Impetus
[REDACTED] (On our actual list)
Reprobation
Glistening Oil
[REDACTED] (On our actual list)
Spirit Link
[REDACTED] (On our actual list)
Vampiric Link
Guilty Conscience

Now, don't get me wrong, there are some great options on this list. Darksteel Mutation especially seems like a slam-dunk you're going to want to see in every single Eriette list. The same is probably true for Parasitic Impetus, despite it being a bit of a double "you can't attack me" effect, just given that you're trying to drain out your opponents via Auras and here's an Aura trying to do the same thing.

Reprobation is a bad version of Darksteel Mutation that's trying to take advantage of the "Cowards can't block Warriors" mechanic, but is workable in this specific deck whether you've got any Warriors that say so or not. My favorite, though? My favorite is absolutely Glistening Oil, a card that will slowly kill the creature it enchants while giving your opponents Poison counters and coming back for more when it finally does kill off its target. It's exactly what Eriette wants in every facet.

As for the various Spirit Links, that's where my enthusiasm begins to wane somewhat. They're cheap Auras that will absolutely trigger various Enchantresses and Srams, so they're not a total loss, but we're not a lifegain deck, we're a drain deck. We want stuff that is going to hasten the demise of our enemies, not just put us at a high life total to die to commander damage.

With that in mind, then, maybe there's a deeper well here we could look into?

Top 10 Death-Triggered Orzhov Auras

There are two main solutions to the problems put forth by Eriette's drain ability: One, to remove Eriette. This will undoubtedly happen a lot, and is something that will need to be planned for. Two, however, is what we're more concerned with here. There are a ton of decks that will respond to you negatively enchanting their creatures and then draining them for all the Auras that are doing so by instead killing off their own creatures. So to lessen that impact, why not go the route of having a ton of payoffs for when enchanted creatures die?

Criteria: Enchant creature Auras within the Orzhov color identity that trigger specifically upon the death of the enchanted creature to do something other than return the creature to its owner or the Aura from the graveyard. As is tradition, all results are ordered by EDHREC score.

10. Death Watch

(447 Inclusions, 0% of 1,521,031 Decks)

Death Watch is exactly the kind of card that you hope to find with a new commander: One that you wouldn't play under any other circumstances. With it being only one mana, however, it will easily trigger your various Enchantresses, and the actual death trigger does more of your precise gameplan with Eriette: Draining your opponent. Sure, it's likely that much of the time that will mean draining for four, but combine that with the easy triggers and Eriette's constant pressuring of life totals and you're not upset about that. When you do manage to get this down on something huge, though? That's when the real fun begins.

9. Infernal Scarring

(660 Inclusions, 0% of 1,521,031 Decks)

This is so close to being exactly what we're looking for, but it just misses the mark. Unfortunately, Infernal Scarring gives the creature the ability to draw a card, rather than having it on itself, and as a result, if you enchant your opponent's creature with it and it dies, they get to draw the card, not you. In other words, while this will trigger Eriette's second ability, as all Auras will, it's a bit too good for our opponents to be worth the one drain a turn.

8. Casting of Bones

(748 Inclusions, 0% of 1,521,031 Decks)

There's no doubt that Casting of Bones is a bit expensive for what it is. Black usually gets its Divinations immediately, and for only two mana. Sign in Blood doesn't dig a card deeper or trigger various Enchantresses, however, so I think we're tentatively willing to take the chance.

7. Unhallowed Pact

(2,254 Inclusions, 0% of 1,521,031 Decks)

Hey, isn't Control Magic supposed to cost four mana? Well, if you're willing to finish the job on your own, you can have it only cost three! Even better, this can do double duty by protecting Eriette from what is sure to be a hail of removal headed her way, instantly returning her to the battlefield. In short, we'll take as many of these effects as we can get!

Before we move onto the next one, though, we do have to at least acknowledge the Giant in the room...

This humble little seven mana Giant has racked up a surprisingly robust 20 combos on Commander Spellbook, and if I had to guess, it still isn't even close to all of them. You see, with Boonweaver Giant's search ability looking both in your library and your graveyard, any Aura that will bring it back to life when it dies to again search for the same Aura can go infinite with any sac outlet. And as we'll see as we proceed down this list, Unhallowed Pact is far from the only Aura that can bring Boonweaver Giant back to the battlefield. So, the question is... Do we play this combo in our mid-powered Aura-fun Eriette deck? Well, I dunno. I guess we've got some time to think about it, though!

6. Shade's Form

(2,373 Inclusions, 0% of 1,521,031 Decks)

My first interaction with Shade's Form was in limited, where it was an absolute house before people even realized you could use it to grab opponent's creatures. But do you know what's even more fun about giving opposing creatures Shade's Form in Commander? You can pump them up when they're attacking others, AKA, the exact effect we want with an Eriette in play!

Now, back to Boonweaver Giant, as we've found yet another effect that combos with it. Except, does it? Sure, you can go find Shade's Form when you play the Giant, and it might actually be the best version of this effect to look for, but you still need a sac outlet as the second card in your combo, and if it doesn't make mana, draw cards, or deal damage, then you're not really moving toward actually winning the game. I dunno, can I get like... two more cards into the article to mull it over?

5. Nurgle's Rot

(2,568 Inclusions, 0% of 967,700 Decks)

All right, the break we needed! Nurgle's Rot would be playable in this deck even without the return clause, given that it's a one-mana Aura that can trigger Eriette and keep a creature from attacking us. The fact that you can play it time after time, however, is really what puts this card over the top. We're going to need quite a bit of repeatable kill effects to take advantage of Auras just like this, but given that we're in two of the best colors for creature removal, that doesn't seem like a tall order.

4. Unholy Indenture

(3,304 Inclusions, 0% of 1,521,031 Decks)

All right, break over, back to the Boonweaver Giant mines. Unholy Indenture doesn't really stack up to Shade's Form unless you're a bit light on black mana, but that situation is sure to arise at some point. More importantly, when you're attaching it to opposing creatures it completely outclasses Unhallowed Pact, so you'll want to snatch this one up first if you are looking through the deck.

It occurs to me that we don't actually have to play a combo with Boonweaver Giant, in the strictest sense of the word. Just playing all of these Auras that bring it back makes it into a hard-to-kill threat the table has to deal with, which is its own kind of fun. That's worth thinking about for two more cards!

3. Necrosynthesis

(7,051 Inclusions, 0% of 1,509,491 Decks)

Necrosynthesis pulls us in two different directions, both making a creature huge as things die around it in a way that will cease to be positive the second Eriette leaves the battlefield, and also delving deep into our library to find the perfect card when the monstrosity leaves this mortal coil. The question is, is the risk of the first ability backfiring on us because we can't keep our commander on the board worth the payoff?

I think no, it probably isn't. But that's a lame answer, so let's put it in the deck and take the risk anyhow!

2. Minion's Return

(7,480 Inclusions, 0% of 1,521,031 Decks)

Put simply, Minion's Return is Unhallowed Pact, but with flash. That doesn't help you when it comes to Boonweaver Giant, but it makes a huge difference when you're just casting it, say in response to a creature about to die to combat damage? In any case, the additional 6,000 inclusions are well warranted when it comes to this effect, to the point that I'm actually going to call this underplayed in general.

As for our "combo" problem, I think I've come all the way back to the beginning. We're going to play these effects, and we're going to play Boonweaver Giant, so why would we not at least try and win the game in flashier fashion once in a while? Without tutors (well, outside of the Giant, anyhow), it's not even going to be a good combo. So why not just put it in the deck in a fashion where it's technically possible, but just staggeringly unlikely? Let's give that a shot, and see if anyone notices, shall we?

1. Dead Man's Chest

(10,845 Inclusions, 1% of 1,521,031 Decks)

Especially in comparison to Minion's Return, I must admit that I'm a bit perplexed as to why Dead Man's Chest is seeing so much play. This card is made of restrictions: You can only play it on an opponent's creature. You need to kill that creature, specifically in a way that will send it to the graveyard. You can only exile cards equal to its power, and only from that opponent's library. You can only cast the cards, meaning hitting lands is a swing and a miss. The cherry on top, though? After all that, you still have to pay for the spells! Sure, it's kind of like drawing cards, but given that they're not going to be cards that match up with your deck, wouldn't you rather be playing one of the worst cards on this list in Casting of Bones?

Don't get me wrong, we're just going to play both, because we absolutely need these effects. What the rest of you are doing, though? No idea.

Honorable Mentions

We've gone pretty heavy into what we're going to do for this hypothetical deck, but I think anyone that looked through our top ten list will realize fairly quickly that there just aren't very many of these effects. Plus, how are we going to trigger all these deaths?

Well, let's take a look at a couple other top tens that could have been this week's primary list.

Top 10 "Bad" Orzhov Auras That Have an Opponent Lose Life

Here's some promising additions that cost a bit more than we'd like, but will still do work either removing creatures for our various death triggers, or will just help Eriette keep that constant pressure on life totals. The best of the bunch is undoubtedly Parasitic Impetus, which will keep a creature swinging at others in mandatory fashion even if Eriette gets removed, while also draining for two every turn. In similar fashion, Stab Wound can be used as straight up removal, but can also hang around to deal two every turn while making a creature less of a threat. My favorite, though? Ragged Veins can be a heck of a surprise for someone blocking a huge creature, and will probably often just take an opponent in a bad situation out of the game entirely. It would be better if Visions of Brutality was the Aura that had flash, but alas we will take what we can get.

Top 10 Auras That Recur Themselves

The original cycles of Auras from Urza's block that returned to your hand when they hit the graveyard have been added to over the years from various sets, but even with all of that growth the Orzhov offerings are nothing to write home about. Still, we've already talked about how perfect Glistening Oil feels for this deck, slowly killing off creatures and putting itself back in your hand to keep on triggering Enchantresses. Despondency has a similar feel without actually killing the creature in question.

My favorite, though, has to be Screams from Within, despite its "college freshman who hasn't figured out yet that the posters in his room might be what's making girls not want to be in his room" vibe. When you look at the actual content of the text box, it's perfect for what we want to do with Eriette, making creatures a bit worse or killing them outright, then returning itself to the battlefield to keep things going. In fact, I think there are more of those exact effects around, are there not?

Top 10 Returns to the Battlefield Orzhov Auras

There's no doubt that we're narrowing the pool to nigh unplayability here, with mana costs getting ever higher and effects getting ever smaller. With that said, though, who doesn't want to have an excuse to play Takklemaggot? So long as we keep in mind that at first opportunity, our opponents are going to stick cards like Necrotic Plague on Eriette and plan accordingly, though, there's no reason that we can't have these Auras sit on the board for the entire game. Even if they're slowly killing Eriette, she'll still be draining folks for each turn they stick around, and once they've finished that job they'll go right back on opposing creatures, continuing to drain and feed our various death triggers. What's not to like?

All right, with all those lists I think we finally have everything we need to finish our list!

Commander (1)

1 Eriette of the Charmed Apple

Enchantments (41)

Sorceries (3)

Instants (2)

Creatures (19)

Lands (34)

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Nuts and Bolts

There always seems to be a bit of interest in how these lists are made (this seems like a good time to stress once again that they are based on EDHREC score, NOT my personal opinion…), and people are often surprised that I’m not using any special data or .json from EDHREC, but rather just muddling my way through with some Scryfall knowledge! For your enjoyment/research, here is this week’s Scryfall search.

What Do You Think?

We've gotten more support for Auras than ever before with Wilds of Eldraine, so there's a ton of stuff we haven't even mentioned here. Still, I feel that it's a rather underloved and underutilized genre, and wondered if this support has done anything to change that.

And finally, what are your favorite Auras that trigger on the death of the enchanted creature? Are you building Eriette, and if so, what kind of Auras are you stressing in your build?

Let us know in the comments, and we'll see you at the table you just can't stop hitting your shin upon the under-contents thereof.

DougY

Doug has been an avid Magic player since Fallen Empires, when his older brother traded him some epic blue Homarids for all of his Islands. As for Commander, he's been playing since 2010, when he started off by making a two-player oriented G/R Land Destruction deck. Nailed it. In his spare time when he's not playing Magic, writing about Magic or doing his day job, he runs a YouTube channel or two, keeps up a College Football Computer Poll, and is attempting to gif every scene of the Star Wars prequels.

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