(Kenrith, the Returned King | Art by Kieran Yanner)

Hark How the Spells
Sweet Silver Spells
Winter is Near
Kenrith is Here

Greetings and salutations fellow Commander players, and before anything else... Merry Christmas to all of you! I'm Arnaud, and I'm delighted to take you on a journey of delicious food, delectable snow, harsh winter season and gifts galore!

Remember when I left you last time with no poll to choose from? I had promised something special.

Well, given that today is indeed a special day, I've taken the liberty to sway a bit from the usual path and try building a little something. Some kind of silly oddity, "une délicieuse connerie", if you'll pardon my French.

Let's stop dawdling: I've built a Christmas deck. Basically, each and every card in here was chosen for a single purpose: to reflect, one way or the other, something related to Christmas. It can be a flurry of things: Santa, gifts, the crisp weather, delicious food, you name it.

I'll try as much as possible to keep the budget reasonable, but I'm going to indulge myself a bit here, and be more lenient about some cards. Take it as a treat to myself!

Let's begin with our fearless leader. To command this mismatched army, I've consorted with Kenrith, the Returned King.

Kenrith fits the bill rather nicely for a few reasons.

First, let's talk about the art. He's a bearded man with some kind of halo around his head. That, plus his title as "Returned" screams Christ-figure to me. Given that Christmas is essentially celebrating the birth of Jesus, I feel like he's appropriate enough as a figure of authority.

Second, his abilities. Nothing about Kenrith says you have to target your own stuff. You can use him to your heart's content to help other players out. If that's not Christmas spirit, I don't know what is.

Third, his color identity. Let's be honest, the fact that he's helps tremendously. There aren't that many cards in line with our theme (although more than I initially expected), and having access to each and everyone of them is a definite plus.

Instead of going through the motions of trimming down a huge list, as we're used to, I'm going to explain the general strategy, as well as detail every card I've chosen to retain in a somewhat... peculiar way.

I hope you like this approach! Let's dive in.

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Mommy, For Christmas, I'd Like Santa To Bring Me...

So, a few words on how I devised this thing.

The first idea that came to my mind was to create a Group Hug deck. For those of you still unaware, Group Hugging is, in theory, giving out stuff to the other players to help them out, with partial or total disregard to our own victory.

I'm saying partial because most of such decks I've encountered insofar have been very deceptive, feigning to help before delivering an unforeseen (or in some cases very well foreseen) mortal blow.

This time around, I'm not planning on winning with this. It's probably going to be abysmally bad, filled with absolute rubbish. But it's beside the point. The point is to be generous and fair to the other players, so that everyone gets to play their part.

I'll be honest, I doubt you can pull a win with this thing. But I believe there's potential for good one-shot fun. And on the plus side, you'll get to play with some quite obscure game pieces.

Moreover, this weird (but coherent!) assemblage of cardboard of dubious origin gave me the perfect excuse to hone my writing skills. Which I hope you'll enjoy.

Let's have a look at the various categories I divided the cards into. Starting with...

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Hors d'oeuvre - A Bunch of Munchies

Welcome, my dear friends, to the best buffet this side of the Blind Eternities!

We begin with a Communal Brewing, where everyone gets to share their preferred hooch. Taking a good swig awakens our appetite, so we move on eating through a plate of Sugar Coated Tough Cookies and Gingerbrutes, all under the benevolent stare of our resident chefs, Brenard, Ginger Sculptor and Rocco, Street Chef (the latter of which bears a surprising resemblance, albeit with inverted colors, with our beloved old man in red).

While eating our delicacies, we'll keep an eye on Greta, Sweettooth Scourge, bent on gobbling more than the Devouring Sugarmaw and the Gingerbread Hunter combined. After all, we wouldn't want these dubious characters to steal our meal, would we?

All of this Sugar Rush is enough to induce a nasty case of Food Coma, but fortunately our contestants succumb before we do, and we can safely help ourselves to a nice Midnight Snack.

Before heading home, we commend our hosts for their Killer Service, despite feeling a bit guilty for absorbing so much sugar in such a little time. Hopefully we'll be able to get a few hours of sleep, unless the revolutionary delicacies decide to unleash a full Night of the Sweets' Revenge. Only time will tell.

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Main Course - An Avalanche of Love and Friendship

This wasn't my first case. Nor my second, since you ask. I knew something was afoot before the chief called me. It was neither Intuition nor some kind of Sixth Sense. Just the plain idea that something weird was happening. Sadly, the file I was handed confirmed my hunch.

People all around were receiving gifts. All sorts of gifts. Weird gifts. Nice Gifts. Nasty gifts. And none was the kind you find in a mall.

One of the beneficiaries affirmed he had gotten a sheerTaste of Paradise, while another had gained around 20 centimeters right after unwrapping his package.

Some had not been that lucky. A poor sod had opened three packages, and was now stuck with massive teeth sprouting from under his chin, a pair of wings and had a bunch of strands where his hands used to be.

Others had been more fortunate, "only" having to content with a Teddy Bear, a bunch of brambles or, in one peculiar case, with a massive elephant carcass. There were also rumours of a miraculous recovery and of bodyguards sprouting out of the gift box, but they were unconfirmed.

I did not have to investigate very far to find suspects. I had already written off Galadriel, Gift-Giver from my book. Savvy as she was poison, seduction and magic alike, she did not fit the bill.

A quick visit had confirmed her whereabouts the night before. It took great pains to dismiss her attempts to coax me into her realm, refusing both her gift of magical wood and her offer for an escort.

All in all, there weren't that many scumbags who could provide so many so-called gifts in such a quick time, and all had a solid foothold in the arcane.

Jon Irenicus, Shattered One swore to the seven gods he had nothing to do with that. Too much hassle for too little results, he argued. Yeah right, talk about a nasty case of megalomania. But he convinced me, and I moved on to my next suspect.

The self-proclaimed Blim, Comedic Genius was more talkative. Between two fits of hideous laughter, he dropped hints of a mysterious greed-inducing diamond that had spun out of control, and attracted the attention of some Bloodgift Demon, who wanted to include it into his Gift Shop of Wonders. The odd gifts were but a side-effect, a weird prank, a taste of what was to come.

If what he said was true, this was going to be a very long night indeed.

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Frozen Sweet - Chilly Winter With Icy Spices

She had no name. Not anymore. She had no use for it anyway. These days, no one was around to say it. There hadn't been for a long time.

When the first hints of the Winter's Chill had come, no one had really cared. Some had believed the signs to be a fluke, joking that, if worse came to worst, they would embrace the ice and become Sculptors of Winter.

They had dismissed the danger at the first Snowfall, saying their Snow Hounds would finally be in their element. When the elements had not abated for a week, they had smirked this was a very long Snow Day indeed, without a care in the world.

They had laughed and they had jested, watching their kids meddle with the snow, building here a Goblin Snowman, there a Snow Fortress. They had erected new altars, found more deities to worship, saying this would not last forever, and that their devotion would eventually save them.

Even in the Dead of Winter, when an Unearthly Blizzard had stricken their community, they had laughed, and laughed and laughed. And when their mirth dwindled, you could hear a faint echo, almost akin to a tinge of the slightest despair, quickly vanishing before a renewed joyful smile.

When the Blizzard Strixs and the Snow Devils had started targeting the kids, they had kept their hopes up. "We have to, what other reason would we live for?", they had said.

Even when they had heard the Blizzard Specter's wail echo through the plains, carrying with it the cries of their children, they had kept on smiling.

And when the Winter Blast hit, they had accepted it, as it swept them all away like a bundle of twigs.

She had been alone ever since.

Everywhere around her was pure, immaculate white. The Cover of Winter had left nothing else. With her now useless crown on her forehead, she pushed forward, ahead. In the snow.

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Marvellous Desserts - Tourism at its best

If you'd kindly approach, kind visitors... Don't be shy, come on, huddle up, so that everyone can hear me.

Right. Welcome to our Arctic Tour of Magic™. I'm your guide and protector for this journey in these inhospitable lands. I know some of you have gone a long way to get here, Into the North. I'll make sure your Farseek is worth your time.

Let's have a talk about the fauna, shall we? As most of you know by now, this region is famous for the various types of deers and elks.

I'd like to suggest a word of caution before we go further. These are wild animals. I'll say it one more time. These are wild animals. Sure, some are tamer than the other. With some luck, you'll be able to get close to a Rimefur Reindeer, maybe even pet a Fey Steed. Maybe. But I'd like to repeat it once more. These. Are. Wild. Animals.

In other words, they are dangerous. They can and will kill you if they feel you are a threat, and maybe even when not.

If you follow my instructions, I'll make sure this is the trip of your lifetime. I've led countless other groups, I know where to find Burnished Harts, Trickster's Elks and Bellowing Elks. I've even spotted a Galewind Moose once, elusive as it is. Everyone on board with that?

Before we move on, a quick word about our destinations. My good friend Selvala has just returned from the hunt and is getting the camp ready. This will be the first of our Three Visits today. We'll then move on to a beautiful wellspring, although I wouldn't get my hopes up. Jeganthais an elusive one.

We'll then move on to the worshipping site. Today is a Holy Day, so if we're in luck, we may very well see a Sacred White Deer.

Finally, our final destination will be the moors. These grounds are packed with magic, so make sure your amulets are turned on. We wouldn't want anyone to transform into an elk or into an eldritch horror, would we?

Arcum, is your sleigh ready? All right then, all aboard, let's go and have some fun!

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When All is Said and Done

If you've come this far, first of all, thanks a lot. I hope you had a good time reading through these small excerpts, all focused on a different aspect of Christmas time.

I couldn't possibly leave you without the list I've been teasing you with all through this paper. Well, here you are.

 

And with that, it's time for me to take this to a close.

Have a great end of the year, and I'll see you in two weeks for a more traditional Trim!