Top 10 Goblin Lords
(Dragonhawk, Fate's Tempest | Art by Victor Adame Minguez)
GoblinHawk
Welcome to Too-Specific Top 10, where if there isn’t a category to rank our pet card at the top of, we’ll just make one up! (Did you know that Goblin Pyromancer is the only Goblin Lord that can give Goblins +3 power?)
Upon first reading of Dragonhawk, Fate's Tempest, I went straight to my old ways: Storm commander. Once I'd reread it, however, that felt too clunky. Sure, there are a lot of Storm payoff creatures that have power four or greater, and there are even some token-makers that can make big tokens in red. What those things all have in common, however? They're expensive, just like our commander already is.
No, what Dragonhawk really wants is a cavalcade of cheap creatures and tokens that can count towards its ability. But 4/4's aren't cheap... are they?
Top 10 Goblin Lords
Before Goblins were even really fleshed out as the small, self-destructive types that we know them as today, they already had a leader. Goblin King was printed in Alpha alongside Goblin Balloon Brigade and Mons's Goblin Raiders, alongside another card called Lord of Atlantis that did similar things for Merfolk. The latter's name would be the one that stuck, largely due to how good Merfolk ended up being in the competitive scene over the years (probably in no small part due to Lord of Atlantis costing two while Goblin King cost three). Goblin King, unfortunately, never really had its time in the sun in the competitive scene.
In fact, despite the many printings of various Goblin Lords, none of them have really ever taken over the competitive scene.
Don't get me wrong, there are tons of great Goblins that care about Goblins that have seen play. Goblin Piledriver was made to keep the control decks of Odyssey and Onslaught blocks under control, and it succeeded. Right alongside it, cards that also cared about Goblins like Siege-Gang Commander, Gempalm Incinerator, and Clickslither also saw play in those heydays of Standard. But while all of those cards care about Goblins, I still wouldn't call them Goblin Lords. Why? Well, put simply, because they don't do what we want to do to make Dragonhawk work: They don't pump our fellow Goblins.
Criteria: Cards which give all Goblins, or all Goblins you control, any addition to their power. As is tradition, all results are ordered by EDHREC score.
So, how do we get 1/1 Gobbos to be 4/4 Gobbos? Well, let's take a look at our top ten and find out, shall we?
10. Goblin Shrine
(681 Inclusions, 0% of 2,066,110 Decks)
And right away, it's slim pickings. I was even tempted to discount Goblin Shrine and dismiss it for not being a Goblin, or even a creature. I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, though, the options behind it are not good.
At six mana, Patron of the Akki doesn't even come close to meeting our goal of having a cavalcade of cheap creatures, and then even worse, asks us to sacrifice our cheap creatures to get the benefit we're looking for. Goblin Pyromancer does the same, but in reverse, which almost makes it worth it when it comes to Dragonhawk. Giving every one of our creatures enough power to satisfy Dragonhawk's trigger would make for a heck of a turn, but we're going to be weak enough to board wipes as it is without doing it to ourselves.
All that said, I'm not sure that Goblin Shrine is good enough, either. At three mana, I'd really like more than just +1/+0 for my team, especially with a drawback attached. Simply put, I think that Goblin decks, Dragonhawk or otherwise, can do better.
9. Goblin General
(902 Inclusions, 0% of 2,066,110 Decks)
Goblin General is much the same story, for all that it feels a bit better, being an actual Goblin. Don't get me wrong, attack triggers aren't a total deal breaker when it comes to Dragonhawk. Attacking before casting our commander works just fine, and with Dragonhawk's trigger also being an attack trigger, we can stack things to where our creatures get the pump before it resolves. The problem here is again one of quality. For three mana, we can just do better than a 1/1 that gives a conditional +1/+1 we'll have to work around.
8. Krenko, Baron of Tin Street
(Helms 685 Decks, Rank #1,150; 4,149 Inclusions, 0% of 839,461 Decks)
Krenko, Baron of Tin Street is the quintessential modern Magic card. Efficiently costed, as a 3/3 for three with haste, with a paragraph of text on him that ultimately makes him fit into a specific niche. The niche, in this case? Artifact decks with an aggro gameplan. As for Dragonhawk, we only fit half of that game plan, and as such, it's unlikely that this is the lord we're looking for.
7. Quest for the Goblin Lord
(11,112 Inclusions, 1% of 2,066,110 Decks)
Where Goblin Shrine and Goblin Caves fail, Quest for the Goblin Lord succeeds while living up to its name. Any Goblin deck is happy to lose some tempo on turn one to cast this instead of their one-drop Goblin, then proceed to play out two one-drop Goblins on turn two to get us almost halfway there. And the numbers here are good. Five Goblins is a pittance, in Goblin-land, and +2/+0 adds up to some real damage if those amount of Goblins stay on the board. As for Dragonhawk, +2/+0 gets all of your larger Goblins to the point where they'll trigger your draw/damage, and if any of those larger Goblins happens to be a Lord, you're exiling a card for every creature you have on the board. In short, this will be one of the best cards to see in our opening hand.
6. Rundvelt Hordemaster
(16,409 Inclusions, 1% of 2,066,110 Decks)
Get ready to sort your multiple exile piles, because Rundvelt Hordemaster might be the best Lord in our deck. At two mana, he's the cheapest pump we have outside of Quest for the Goblin Lord, and he comes with card draw attached for no reason that I can ascertain or fathom. In short, the only reason he's not higher up this list is because of how ubiquitous the Lords of old are.
5. Battle Cry Goblin
(16,235 Inclusions, 1% of 2,066,110 Decks)
Now, some of you are saying "hey, didn't you just say that Rundvelt Hordemaster was the cheapest Goblin Lord?" I did, and that's still correct, because Battle Cry Goblin's pump ability costs two to activate. Does that mean that Battle Cry Goblin isn't great? Absolutely not. Two mana to give the team +1/+0 and haste is extremely good, and more often than not will trigger Battle Cry to get you an attacking token, as well. I'd still personally put Rundvelt Hordemaster above it, because that card may be the best Goblin Lord ever printed, but Battle Cry Goblin at five? I'm not mad about it.
4. Goblin King
(23,567 Inclusions, 1% of 2,066,110 Decks)
The OG persists! Obviously that's wrong, and there have been a few cards behind this now that you should be playing above Goblin King. With that said, though, don't. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't stoked to see an old, beloved card that's been power-crept out living beyond its years, and we should all be trying to sustain that where we can. So yeah, if you're new, and Goblin King doesn't mean anything to you, go ahead and cut it for something higher or lower on this list. But if you have any memories at all of the King, do him a favor and slide him into a sleeve.
3. Hobgoblin Bandit Lord
(24,162 Inclusions, 1% of 2,066,110 Decks)
The base +1/+1 that Goblin King gives is what you're really looking for, much as you'll get lucky with the Mountainwalk on a fairly consistent basis. What will be great all the time, however? Bolting things to the face every turn as your horde of Goblins continues to be large and swing in. Just make sure that you're making the combat math hellish for folks, and holding Hobgoblin Bandit Lord's ability up until the last moment.
2. Goblin Trashmaster
(27,094 Inclusions, 1% of 2,066,110 Decks)
Four mana for a Lord effect is above rate, but Goblin Trashmaster more than makes up for it by being able to toss Goblins at people's artifacts. Whether they be huge, impactful problems, or just everyone's mana rocks, chances are good that they're more important to your opponents than a random Goblin token is to you. Put simply, Goblin Trashmaster is worth the cost, and you'll probably find more and more as you play a Goblin deck that you're praying to draw him to deal with an out-of-hand board state.
1. Goblin Chieftain
(29,983 Inclusions, 1% of 2,066,110 Decks)
Now, I've been pretty plain that I feel like Rundvelt Hordemaster is the best Goblin Lord, but Goblin Chieftain makes that hard. Mountainwalk is great when it works, removing artifacts at an extra cost is all well and good, and damage to any target is a great thing to have, but really none of it adds up to Goblins having haste. Instead of opponents sitting there bored with a board wipe in hand as you do ridiculous things that keep on putting Goblin tokens out that keep getting larger and larger, watch that same turn with the table knowing that you're about to go to combat at the end of it. It's a totally different animal, I promise.
The only sad part? With Dragonhawk not being a Goblin, it won't get the haste to double up its trigger in the same turn. Sad.
Honorable Mentions
Once again, we've done the impossible here on Too-Specific Top 10, and managed to find every example of the card we're looking for. That doesn't mean that there aren't a few Goblin "Lords" out there that don't pump, however.
There aren't many, though. Goblin Warchief is obviously meant to be the exception here, a clear Goblin Lord even without the iconic +1/+1. And to be clear, it's good. All your Goblins being a mana cheaper is nuts, and we already covered how good Goblins with haste are on a big turn, which in turn is likely to be the case when all your Goblins cost one less. Other examples are less good, and less clear. Orcish Siegemaster, for instance, does give all your Goblins (and Orcs) trample, but then has an ability that is clearly meant to synergize with Amass, rather than Goblins. Gempalm Incinerator cares about how many Goblins you have, and is an amazing card in any Goblin deck, but it's hard to call a card you're going to cycle 99% of the time a "Lord".
As for the rest, Sparksmith is great if you're only casually in Goblins, but hurts too much to use in a deck really dedicated to them. Skirk Fire Marshal can be amazing, only it kills all your Goblins and then can't activate anymore once you've used it. Reckless One is tall instead of wide, which is about the most un-Goblin-Lord thing out there. Finally, Voracious Dragon is good for a laugh, but ultimately is working against itself as it sacrifices Goblins for a one-time removal, while not adding any other synergies to the Goblin deck.
Moving on, then, there are probably better things we can be doing for our Goblinhawk brew than keeping to the subpar Goblin Lords:
Top 10 Red Anthems
- Vanquisher's Banner
- Caged Sun
- Coat of Arms
- Shared Animosity
- Castle Embereth
- Heraldic Banner
- Door of Destinies
- Moraug, Fury of Akoum
- Metallic Mimic
- Eldrazi Monument
Well that is... an expensive list. Let's grab the cheapest of it and try again, shall we?
Top 10 Red Anthems That Cost Two or Less
- Metallic Mimic
- Signal Pest
- Haze of Rage
- Ardoz, Cobbler of War
- Goblin Wardriver
- Goblin Bushwhacker
- Goblin Lookout
- Rosnakht, Heir of Rohgahh
- First Day of Class
- Orcish Oriflamme
There we are, the cheap pumps we've been looking for have been Battle Cry all along! We'll gladly scoop those up, along with maybe the best card we've found for the deck yet, Haze of Rage.
With that, it seems like we've got more pump than we could ever fit in a 99, so let's take a look at the final decisions, shall we?
If you've ever played a Goblin deck that goes low to the ground like this, you're well aware that it can pump out the aggro, and folds to board wipes. Goblinhawk is no different, and you'll want to hold cards in your hand whenever possible and instead rely on your commander to keep the board state ridiculous. Another thing to keep in mind? Dragonhawk is a 5/5 flier that will always impulse draw and/or deal two damage whenever it enters. Playing it out onto an empty board is not a bad thing, nor do you need to have a critical mass going for it to be worthwhile. When you do, however, watch how a table reacts when they see your board of five 5/5 Goblins be joined by six cards you never had a hope of casting, and you kindly ask them to take 12 at the beginning of your end step. They'd better have that board wipe.
Nuts and Bolts
There always seems to be a bit of interest in how these lists are made (this seems like a good time to stress once again that they are based on EDHREC score, NOT my personal opinion…), and people are often surprised that I’m not using any special data or .json from EDHREC, but rather just muddling my way through with some Scryfall knowledge! For your enjoyment/research, here is this week’s Scryfall search.
What Do You Think?
Dragonhawk is what's politely known as "Generically good", so there are more than a few ways to build it. With that in mind, would Goblins be your pick?
And finally, what is your favorite Goblin Lord? Do you own a Goblin deck? Are you planning on brewing Dragonhawk? If so, how?
Let us know in the comments, and we'll see you at the collection of milk crates we put together to create a table. It's totally stable, I promise.
Read more:
Singleton Shmingleton - Mono-Red Goblins with Goblin Tunneler
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