New Way ForwardNew Way Forward | Art by Eli Minaya

Hello, and welcome to Am I the Bolas? This week, let's think about the past!

This column is for all of you out there who have ever played some Magic and wondered if you were the bad guy. I'm here to take in your story with all of its nuances so I can bring some clarity to all those asking, "Am I the Bolas?"

I'm ready to hear you out and offer advice. All you have to do is email amithebolas@gmail.com with your story, a pseudonym you want to use, and of course, only include details you don't mind in the column! You might see your story below one day. You might even hear it on the podcast. Which podcast?

THIS PODCAST!

I'm Mike Carrozza, and I want to wish you a happy new year.

Thanks for kicking around the AItB column this year!

(Post edited for brevity, clarity, and then some.)

A Thank You to the Disciples of Bolas

I want to, as always, recognize and thank everyone who has ever read this column and submitted their stories to amithebolas@gmail.com. There are many of you probably wondering when your story is coming. Unfortunately, I can't guarantee I'll be able to use all of them, but I do endeavor to find a way to do so in the new year.

There are some that are just either too short or are absolutely gargantuan. There are some that get submitted around the same time as another that is very similar - for example, I have a great mass land destruction submission simmering in the inbox right now, but I don't want to use it since we just had an MLD sub two weeks ago.

There are some that I flat-out cannot bring myself to comment on publicly because some people need a private talking to rather than being put on blast. I digress.

I appreciate you all. Thank you for writing in.

Speaking up Isn’t Easy, but It’s Necessary

Over the entire run of Am I the Bolas?, whether on EDHREC or on Commander's Herald, there is a thread that persists. People are often put in situations that they quietly didn't want to be part of or even expressed they did not want to be part of. That sucks. Boo! Last week's entry is a great example of this. I'd link it here, but I'm writing both articles in advance. Click my name at the top of this and go look for it. It's a good submission and it's infuriating.

One thing I've been a proponent of is the idea that confrontation has this stigma to it that's undeserved. Sure, people expect confrontation and conflict to lead to the worst because folks often catastrophize the outcome, but is that outcome much worse than the situation you're in right now?

If I'm sitting at a table at my LGS, I've recruited two players to join, and a fourth walks over that I and the other two have discussed not enjoying games with, what do I do? Do we suffer through another game we don't enjoy? Is that better than being honest and direct with someone? It feels bad to exclude someone, sure, but do they want an undercurrent of resentment to permeate their gaming experience?

I'd rather be honest with that person. "Hey, pal. You are a nice enough person, but the decks you bring to the table are often too powerful for the silliness we're engaging with and we'd rather not do that again. Are you able to play one of our decks or do you have a deck that meets us where we're at? If not, we'd rather keep this seat open for someone who can match the play experience we're here for."

If they can produce a deck that meets the vibe, then great! If they can match the expectation of the pod, then awesome, we've had the rule zero conversation. If they don't want to play different decks or change, then they're free to explore the other options at the LGS that match what they are looking for.

Confrontation can be positive. It will lead to either exactly what you want, a compromise that meets many needs, or a simple moment where you can feel bad for a bit, but ultimately, you did right by you, and that's good, too!

Be open and honest. Don't be cruel or mean, but be honest. Assume positive intent, use kindness and open language to get your point across, and leave room for growth. I promise you many, many more positive game experiences if you take this to heart.

Water Off a Duck's Back

I've noticed over time that I can get a little salty when threat assessment is tossed by the wayside. In every single submission about kingmaking, I have a moment of "that sucks" followed by a moment of "that's Commander, baby!"

It's a bummer to have your Ghostly PrisonGhostly Prison destroyed all because Dylan was mad that you found a way through his token army with your now-unblockable commander to take him out of the game. That sucks. But it's also entirely within the possibilities when playing Magic.

Something that's helped me Woosah my way through it all is taking a beat to think "I have a new obstacle to get through now." That's the part of Magic I love. I enjoy making engines out of my deck and navigating through the obstacles. When someone does something to kingmake someone else, it might seem impossible, and in some cases, it is, but I get to try to dig for an answer and make it work.

I am grateful I get to play more games after this, I am grateful I saw decks "do the thing," and I am grateful for this game that makes me feel smart and creative all at once.

Letting things wash over me like water off a duck's back is what has allowed me to keep my peace and still be able to find moments to be present and happy playing Magic.

I'm Okay with a Little (Mass) Land Destruction

Okay.

This isn't an invitation and I definitely hope you do this with a plan, still...but stax and mass land destruction are both things I'm coming around to in Magic. Maybe it's because I'm enfranchised and I'm looking for the more complex and taboo - much like music lovers will find their way to a noise-jazz album at some point or another - but I think I'm ready to give stax another go and to not be immediately upset at the possibility of land destruction.

Also, playing 1v1 Magic helps you get over this a little bit. Play some Limited. Enjoy the diversity and the new dynamics of play.

I'm not dwelling on this and don't want every deck I play against now to be stax or land destruction, I'm just saying, maybe sometimes, we can solve a puzzle that doesn't get out of the box often.

Follow Your Impulse for Kindness

This is going to feel like a bit of a brag, but whatever, who cares. I like who I am and I try to be a good person. Part of why I think that is because my impulses tend to be toward community and care.

For example, at the last prerelease I attended, a new player (first prerelease!) had a pack of penny sleeves that were falling apart. Without thinking, after watching him struggle for a minute, I handed him the pack of extra sleeves I've been lugging around at prereleases for years in case I open two wildly different decks from my kit (it only happened once). He was appreciative and thanked me.

"Whatever Mikey, that's nice, but don't you think you're tooting your own horn a little here? What, you need another pat on the back there, pal?"

Now, hold on! Later in the prerelease, I saw that same new player offer to give the tokens he had no use for to players in the pairing next to him who were searching for theirs. "Keep 'em! Spread the love!" he said. Look, I'm not taking credit for that. But I am saying that when more people are as open and giving, it invites more behaviors like that.

Years ago, I had a proxy for a VandalblastVandalblast in a deck because, at the time, they were hard to come by. Three bucks, but sold out at every store I knew of. I explained this to the pod I joined at my new LGS in Toronto and one of my opponents reached into his backpack, grabbed his binder, pulled out a VandalblastVandalblast put it on the table. I offered him money, but he wasn't having it.

Since then, whenever I could and it wasn't breaking the bank, I've given players cards they mentioned needing. I've even gotten up to buy a copy from the LGS we're playing at if it wasn't going to hurt my pockets. Some the folks who've been on the receiving end of this have told me of times they've paid it forward and honestly, that's what I hope to see more of. A moment of sharing and joy that'll remind you that it might all be cardboard, but it's also the people.

As always, thank you for submitting. Please continue to do so! If you, the reader, want to send me a story, whether it's your own or one from Reddit or a friend's, please send it to amithebolas@gmail.com and I'll get to it here.

Happy New Year!