Yes Man, Personal SecuritronYes Man, Personal Securitron | Art by Dan Murayama Scott

Hello, and welcome to Am I the Bolas? This week, vibe check, please!

This column is for all of you out there who have ever played some Magic and wondered if you were the bad guy. I'm here to take in your story with all of its nuances so I can bring some clarity to all those asking, "Am I the Bolas?"

I'm ready to hear you out and offer advice. All you have to do is email amithebolas@gmail.com with your story, a pseudonym you want to use, and of course, only include details you don't mind in the column! You might see your story below one day. You might even hear it on the podcast. Which podcast?

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(Post edited for brevity, clarity, and then some.)

SUBMISSION

Dear Mike,

I'm a long-time reader and long-time hothead. I try to keep a cap on my temper, but I recently did something I never thought I'd ever do in a Commander game: I scooped on turn 3.

Here's what you should know. I have a deck I love to play helmed by Yes Man, Personal SecuritronYes Man, Personal Securitron (Humble DefectorHumble Defector in the command zone? Yes, please!). Usually, before I pass him off to another player, I ask the table, "Who would like to draw cards?" Here's the deal (and I think it's a fair deal), if I'm gonna pass you Yes Man, I want him back eventually. You can pass him along to anyone else who wants cards and accepts the deal, just try to make sure I get him back by my next turn. I've had this deck basically since the release of the Fallout set - usually everyone loves it. We pass him around the table and all draw cards. Eventually, people have drawn enough cards and stop taking the deal - but by then, he's got a fair number of quest counters and I can make an army of 1/1s - certainly powerful, but nothing game-breaking (and by then I’ve helped people draw answers). It doesn't win a ton but people enjoy playing against it and I love to play it so I can look past the low win rate. Unfortunately, I haven't played the deck at all as of late because of something that happened during a game that left me with a sour taste in my mouth.

A few weeks ago, I showed up at my LGS to meet up with a group of coworkers who get together a couple times a month for some Commander games. I showed up a little late and wasn't able to join a pod with my coworkers, but the nice thing about playing at an LGS is we can usually round off games with some strangers. I joined another game nearby with three people I'd never met who seemed friendly and were playing some interesting commanders I'd never seen before. For a game with strangers, I figured Yes Man was a safe bet. I let my opponents know what my deck does and we started the game.

Thanks to a turn one Sol RingSol Ring, I'm able to untap with Yes Man on turn three. I ask the same question I've asked dozens of times, "who wants to draw some cards?" Well, something happened I've never seen before. My opponents (who clearly all know each other), look at each other and then basically say, "No thanks!". I'm sort of confused, so I reply, "Wait really? Nobody wants to draw?" They sort of shrug and explain that if they have to choose between drawing and completely shutting off my deck, they’re going to choose the latter. They agree among each other not to tap him at all.

VERDICT

Thank you for writing and asking me to weigh in on your story. As I mention every week, if folks don't write to me, there's no column, so if you, the reader, want to send me a story, whether it's your own or one from Reddit or a friend's, please send it to amithebolas@gmail.com and I'll get to it here.

Dr. Randy, I loved this submission. I think it was such a gift and not just because I got to come up with your pseudonym. Thank you, Dr DR. It's also a gift because I get to tell you that there's no need to take apart a deck you like. Is the spark for it fully gone? You called it your favorite deck, I have to hope you've still got love for it and this experience didn't taint it irreversibly.

I think it's clear when someone rocks up with a Yes Man, Personal SecuritronYes Man, Personal Securitron deck what the intended vibe is. Everybody passes it around between each other and you're just asking for a bone every now and again. You just want people to pass Yes Man around because eventually, there's a chance you get a bunch of tokens and I'm guessing the Group Hug element gets a game on rails and that's pretty exciting. It's most definitely a game you need to buy into, which is why you have to hope the other players will give you their honesty.

Playing with your friends who know the deck and pass around Yes Man, they know it's not a threat because, like you said, it's not a big game-winner. If the time arises where they don't feel like playing against Yes Man, I'd think you'd be understanding and pick something else.

The fact that they let you put that on the table and then didn't buy in sucks big time. I understand where they're coming from if it's really about winning the game through your own deck and not giving an opponent an inch. Sure, fine, be competitive, but let me know before I pick this deck! Maybe! Just a thought!

This all comes down to the vibe check. Having a chat with people about the deck and getting their honest impressions is going to be important for this deck no matter what. It seems like you've got the chat down, but I'd recommend mentioning that if they aren't interested in playing into the fun of it, you can pull something else out.

I have to imagine you have the only absolutely perfect card for this deck in the 99 - Homeward PathHomeward Path - but I have to hope there's more to this deck so that it can hang a little, specifically for situations like these. But even if it doesn't, who cares? If you're in the game and nobody's playing into it, you're right, you can scoop. It's not the game you would have played if the conversation had signaled even a little hesitation and yet, the others aren't keen to play it. Oh, well. Leaving entirely, is less fun. I wish you'd checked in with one of your pals and talked it out with them, I'm sure you'd have gotten some support on this. This is a Rule Zero deck after all in the sense that you require the buy-in of your pod to really get anything out of it.

Gotta get better at the vibe check, but I don't think you're wrong for scooping.

Thanks again!