With the real estate market what it is (don't even get me started), you're looking outside the box for your next place of residence. You've heard good things about tax rates in Innistrad, and the schools? Most of their students aren't even eaten by werewolves! That might be more of a statistics thing, though, because some of them definitely are. At any rate, you know that there are five provinces in Innistrad, but which one will you call home? Let's find out!

Which Innistrad Province Is Right for You?

A bustling metropolis, free of worry. Maybe a neighbor wearing a tricorn hat.

Rolling fields of wheat under puffy white clouds, and hardly any suggestion that not too long ago, most of the residents were congealed together into a writhing, protoplasmic mass.

The somber peace of a silent wood surrounding you, a place where it's always October, and it's okay to drink PSLs for breakfast.

A lapping tide sliding ever against the rocks, seafoam crinkling and a breeze bringing the scent and noise of harbor markets to your porch. Your neighbor was kidnapped last night and turned into a bug man, but honestly it's none of your business.

An infinite Hot Topic, as far as the eye can see.

Instead of having a bunch of neighbors, why not just have one very large neighbor who is the amalgamation of everyone in town?

Someone who might not talk much, but gets thing done with grit and determination. And occasionally they morph into a giant dog person and kill your livestock.

Exhuberantly friendly. So friendly, in fact, that they invite you to join their club, which meets in an abandoned warehouse and invokes the unspeakable horrors of the deep. Sounds fun!

You know you have a neighbor, and they must be rich because look at the size of that castle. And you know they're popular, because people are always coming over to visit, though now that you think of it, you can't recall seeing them ever leave.

A sweet old person who regails you with stories of their youth, but when you tell people your fondness for this old person, they recoil from you and inform you that no one has lived in the house next door for generations. You know, ever since the murders.

Smoke, heat, and eerie cackling won't stop emanating from the cave in the backyard. It's probably nothing.

There's an inaccessible room in the basement exuding a perpetual fog that smells like wet earth. It's probably nothing.

The previous owner turned into a bat. In fact, you think he's still in the attic somewhere. It's probably nothing.

There's a massive cathedral next door where everyone screams and cries all day about some angel who abandoned them. It's probably nothing.

While most houses grew tentacles and ran off into the darkness, this one only lost its guest room. It's still out there, though. It's probably nothing.

You love learning new skills. An evening workshop where a licensed professional scientist teaches you their trade sounds fascinating. That was a lot of waivers to sign, though.

You love to spread a blanket and gaze up at the stars, and since it seems to always be night, that's easy to do, despite the distant screaming that never seems to cease.

There's no better way to build a sense of community than following a crowd of pious souls to a midnight mass needed to keep the town safe from a demon. And they always have snacks.

You love to hit the town! However, this one seems to hit back.

A "night out?" Like, recreation? If you've got time to lean, you've got time to clean. And by clean, you mean smelt your grandmother's silver jewelry into crossbow bolt tips.

Doing daytime deliveries is incredibly lucrative. No one's ever around. Must be a lot of third-shifters.

You've always wanted to work with your hands, so you got a job as a gravedigger. It's steady work, especially when you have to bury the same corpse like, a dozen times.

Who needs a job? You've got a place, a little garden, and more extraplanar sludge than you could ever need.

You thought about farming, but your tools were haunted. You thought about ranching, but your sheep were eaten by the neighbor. You thought about trapping, but the forest shifted and it took you a week to escape. Maybe an MLM?

You headed to the dock and got a job as a stevedore. Some of the shipments screech and moan, but your foreman says he doesn't pay you to ask questions.

You belong in Gavony, the spiritual heart of Innistrad and home to the great cathedral city of Thraben. You value order, community, and the comfort of high walls between you and the things that go bump in the night. You're the type who finds reassurance in institutions, keeps your doors locked at dusk, and genuinely believes that if everyone just followed the rules, things would be fine. The geists are more numerous here than anywhere else on the plane, all those graves, but the militia keeps the streets swept and the riff-raff off the cobblestones. Begging is strictly prohibited. You like that about the place.

Move to Gavony!

You belong in Hanweir, the agricultural jewel of Gavony and the finest open-air market on Innistrad. Trappers, traders, livestock. It's a bustling port town where the River Kirch brings goods from every province right to your doorstep. You're practical, sociable, and you appreciate a good deal. You like knowing your neighbors. You like community events. You probably would have enjoyed the last town gathering, actually, the one where everyone sort of... merged together into a single writhing mass. Look, it's fine. The important thing is that the market had excellent turnip prices right up until the end.

Move to Hanweir!

You belong in Kessig, Innistrad's vast, wooded hinterland, a province locked in a state of perpetual autumn. The deep forests are your kingdom. You value self-reliance, solitude, and a deep connection to wild, untamed things. Small farming communities and wandering hunters make up your neighbors, and you wouldn't have it any other way. Just remember: don't venture out after dark. The werewolves aren't always friendly, and the trees have a way of rearranging themselves when you're not looking.

Move to Kessig!

You belong in Nephalia, Innistrad's misty coastal province where the sea is silver, the fog is permanent, and commerce never sleeps. You're adaptable, a little secretive, and you've never asked too many questions about where the cargo came from. The ports are lively: merchants, sailors, the occasional geist drifting through the harbor market — and if the necromancers running experiments in the back rooms bother you, you've learned not to mention it. The clouds reflect in the water here so perfectly that it's sometimes hard to tell which way is up. You find that clarifying rather than unsettling.

Move to Nephalia!

You belong in Stensia, the darkest and most mountainous province on Innistrad, where the sun genuinely does not seem to break through the clouds and the roads are always misty and deserted. You're comfortable with hierarchy, you keep your head down, and you understand that the vampires who run the mountain passes aren't going anywhere, so you might as well be polite about the blood tithe. The valleys range from sinister swamp to moody conifer forest. The colors are deep green, purple, and gray. There are dragons in the high peaks that no human has ever survived visiting. You find all of this atmospheric rather than alarming. The Hot Topic was always your favorite store.

Move to Stensia!

Have you ever wondered how much simpler life would be if you could distill your entire personality into one of the five original preconstructed Commander decks from 2011? 

Luckily, there are only five known personality types among humans, each aligning perfectly with Heavenly Inferno, Mirror Mastery, Counterpunch, Political Puppets, and Devour for Power. Weird how that ended up. Anyway, go on and find out which one you are!

Which Original Precon Are You?

Calling one friend, putting them on mute, then calling a second friend and talking bad about the first one to see what the second one will say.

Trying to convince your parent to let you take senior photos with a battle axe.

Allowing your personal identity to be subsumed by an article you read about the ocean sunfish.

Just working. It's the same answer in 2011 as it is in 2026.

Writing a term paper in college about how good and evil are just like, concepts, man.

You win by allowing them to think THEY won. It's all about the long game, which in this case is ants.

You explain that "chores" is a social contract that you never explicitly signed, therefore rendering you exempt from vacuuming.

You share a link to a study conducted by "scientists" that clearly states a little patina on the dishes is a good thing for your body's immune system.

You just stare, unblinking, until they walk away.

You hire a lawyer. But, like, a really theatrical one.

Where else can you get such a complicated set of rules by which you can badger anyone else to abide?

Because if you can get everyone around you hooked on it, you don't have to think about what to buy them for birthdays and Christmas anymore.

You found a copy of Gaze of Pain in your uncle's glove box in 1996 and you made it your whole personality.

You're so jaded that crushing opponents via a card game is the only way to feel joy.

You like to assemble Rube Goldberg-esque combos that require comprehensive knowledge of niche rules, because you're very, very smart.

You babysat neighborhood kids and made them duel with Nerf weapons for your amusement.

You worked at a pet store, and you named every fish that you sold "Jared." You still wonder how those Jareds are doing.

You scooped ice cream at a mom-and-pop shop over the summer, and your forearms still ache, but you learned a lot about human nature.

You did food delivery until you got stuck in a snowstorm and ate all the food.

You were paid $100 to be an extra for an episode of Gilmore Girls but when you refused to stop looking into the camera, they fired you.

You trick your significant other into thinking you're going on a couple's weekend, only to roll up at a PTQ.

You build three decks, dismantle two of them before anyone sees, and spend $60 on cards for a fourth concept you haven't sleeved yet.

You goldfished your Commander deck all morning, changed half the cards, goldfished some more, then skipped Commander night because you don't want to think about Magic for the rest of the day.

You invited your playgroup to your house, got salty after losing the first game of the night, and refused to let people use your bathroom until they apologized.

You spent the better part of the weekend looking at Ice Age commons to try recapturing the feeling you got from Gaze of Pain.

Life is drama, and your goal is to never be outdone. Angels and demons and dragons? Really? Ever hear of subtlety? Your spirit animal is a very angry redhead.

You are Heavenly Inferno!

There are two sides to every argument, but if you can somehow mold yourself into both sides at once, you'll never lose! Your spirit animal is your own reflection, you handsome devil.

You are Mirror Mastery!

Spores are just friends you haven't inhaled yet! Or, that's what you tell yourself in order to avoid cleaning the bathroom. Who are you to stand in the way of the proliferation of life? Your spirit animal is a fungus, which is technically not an animal.

You are Counterpunch!

You fancy yourself a social architect. You don't need to be the most popular person in the room, but you need to know who is, and if they have weaknesses. Your spirit animal is a minotaur who gives terrible presents.

You are Political Puppets!

You're driven by the need to know things other people do not know. However, you find that the reason people don't know the things you know is that the things you know are largely irrelevant unless you end up on Jeopardy! Your spirit animal is a sentient tub of Gak.

You are Devour for Power!

Fire Diamond is a card that has been printed 10 times in 30 years (and once in gold border, but we ignore those), and of those 10 times, there've been five different illustrations. All of them are a red hunk of translucent rock. Unless it's the Phil Stone version, for which we infer that it's red. 

Sure, Fire Diamonds tap to make one red mana, and not every deck can use red mana. But we're not here to determine whether or not you should play Fire Diamond. We're here to figure out which of the five different Fire Diamond arts fit your personality the best. This is highly scientific and the results can be used on job applications and dating profiles.

Which Fire Diamond Fits Your Whole Vibe?

Everything should enter the battlefield tapped. It's good for you. Builds character.

Turn two? It's only been two turns? Explain why we play Commander again - these games take too long. I'm hungry. What time is it?

Mana rocks are mana rocks. They get the job done. I have no feelings. I look inward, and I see a void. This comforts me.

I am elated. I have performed a game action and my excitement for doing so is only surpassed by how hotly I anticipate future game actions made possible by this game action.

That depends - did anyone else play a mana rock? Were they better than mine? Will they judge me? Can I judge them? Do they think I'm cool? I hope they think I'm cool.

I've been hoping to check out that new romantic comedy. It likely won't really be romantic, or funny, but it won't challenge me emotionally. I don't pay money to watch movies that are mean to me.

There's this Czech New Wave film playing at the art house. I don't know what it's about. War, probably. I'll be going alone.

Whichever movie features the most fourth-wall breaking camera winks, witty banter, and orchestral swells of triumphant music. Bonus points if there's a dinosaur.

I don't care, but the explosions/60 rate better be elite.

Give me horror, give me egregious film grain, moody lighting, dysfunctional family dynamics. Give me something to brag about on Letterboxd.

Put it back, I guess. It must have been important enough at one point to keep, so you never know.

If it's unidentifiable, it's garbage. And garbage, shockingly, goes into the garbage can.

Every lock needs a key, and this key has a lock. Somewhere. All other earthly responsibilities no longer matter. We're finding this key's lock.

Throw it in the key box. The mass grave of lost keys is the next drawer down. Don't ask.

You live forever but you have to sustain yourself on the blood and viscera of fellow humans or fall into a stupor. Not a vampire, something totally different. The wizard said so.

You live forever but you're cursed to have to sing the entirety of Every You Every Me by Placebo whenever anyone tells you to have a good day.

You live forever but, like, is that really a good thing? Have you read Warhammer 40,000 lore?

You live forever but everything you touch turns into hands that touch back.

You live forever but once a year you have to play a game of chess with the wizard. It doesn't matter if you win or lose, the wizard just wants to make a friend but is too emotionally stunted to just say so.

We're already in the basement, and I forgot to pay my electric bill so we're playing by candlelight anyways. Is it my turn? I cast Fire Diamond.

Panic. My friends panic. The dog panics. Everyone panics.

We stop playing and head out to stand on the porch like a bunch of Midwestern dads. Looks like a big one rolling in, huh.

Nothing. I've already stocked up on food, got gas for the generator, and put fresh batteries in the flashlights, because I'm an adult.

I tell my friends not to worry. I made a deal with a wizard that said I'd live forever.

Phil's version is tied for the most recent, released in 2022 as a rulebook showcase card from Commander Legends: Battle for Baldur's Gate.

It's the newest, while looking like the oldest. It's the hipster of Fire Diamonds. Surprise, surprise.

The Phil Stone art!

This illustration appeared in Commander Legends: Battle for Baldur's Gate, released in 2022. 

It's extravagant, hedonistic, and ostentatious. Do these adjectives describe someone else you know? Like...you?

The Gaboleps art!

Originally printed in Commander 2014, Lindsey Look's Fire Diamond is gripped by a person who appears to be getting ready to chuck the thing into some desert hills. 

It's probably the most commonly seen version, and that makes it dependable - and maybe a little boring. But hey, everyone could stand to be a little more dependable and a little more boring, right?

The Lindsey Look art!

Arriving in Seventh Edition way back in 2001, David Martin's Fire Diamond is cut and polished and sparkling in the light. It's also held by someone wearing a whole-ass gauntlet. Maybe it's spicy.

It's white bordered, weird, and asks more questions than it answers. But it gets the job done. Is that you? Efficient but esoteric? Competent but bizarre? If you're reading this, the answer's yes. Sorry/you're welcome.

The David Martin art!

The original Fire Diamond, Richard Thomas's version was printed in Mirage in 1996. It's not a pineapple, despite what you might have thought (and continue to think, 30 years later). 

This one was the first, and some people (you included, if you landed here) think the first version of the thing is always the best version. That's patently untrue, but it's still pretty romantic. Just like you! Romantic, idealistic, and old.

The Richard Thomas art!

There's a Fire Diamond art for anyone, but no Fire Diamond art is for everyone - which one's for you?

Grave news, Planeswalker — that was no secret spice in your fancy dinner outing. You have died, but in so doing, you’ve been thrown into and through the Blind Eternities! You’re falling fast into Alara’s orbit, but which Shard would suit you best — Bant, Esper, Grixis, Jund, or Naya? Answer quickly!

What Shard of Alara Should You Call Home?

Spelunking — caves are great for hiding!

Going to a museum — nothing better than looking at beautiful works of art and appreciating them.

A long day of playing my favorite video game — crushing thousands of enemies is a great source of stress relief.

Working in the garden — guiding and cultivating new life is fulfilling.

Reading — leisure time is a great time to hone one’s mind.

The carefully organized ingredients — efficiency is key, and I’ve got a menu for the week.

A most splendid roast which has been marinating for three days. Tonight we feast!

The leftover drawer — waste not, want not.

The fresh fruits and veggies I got from some neighbors at a farmer swap — maybe a soup and sourdough bread!

Manager: I got my position “fair” and “square”, and I treated all my employees “fairly”, as far as the lawyers understood.

Assistant Manager: I did my best to ensure that the leaders had what they needed to succeed, even though they were absent most of the time…

Accountant: each and every detail was filed and sorted appropriately.

Veteran worker: I caused chaos for fun and kept stealing lunches from the workroom.

Newbie worker: I did what I was supposed to and — wait, that was you!?

We Are the Champions — it’s fun to sing in crowds!

Another One Bites the Dust — it’s a motto to live by.

Killer Queen — acknowledging the top predator and giving them praise ensures survival.

We Will Rock You — stomping is my preferred method of dance.

Bohemian Rhapsody — yes, I have it memorized front to back and back to front.

Oh for sure, sphinxes and angels are uptight and pretentious.

Yeah? Well dragons and demons are evil and destructive!

Goody two-shoes, as always — angels and beasts are self-aggrandizing and stupid, respectively.

Excuse you — sphinxes and demons are smart, but they’re also arrogant jerks.

Only because we are perfect or close enough, unlike those impulsive and foolish dragons and beasts.

You love hierarchy and organization and knowing where to be, as well as your community. A little boring? Well if the neighbors think so, they should try coming over to your “Yoga, Kombucha, Pottery” parties!

Beginning in Bant!

You’re going to be a big hit in Esper! Between brushing up on your knowledge and removing random body parts to see where the drill should go, it’ll be a good time! Just be careful at the dance scene— Electronic Music is a lot more literal.

Engineering in Esper!

Crush your enemies and make them cower before you. If you don’t mind the smell of corpses, you’ll go far. (But be mindful of your employees— you never know when an “assistant manager” is looking for a promotion.)

Grinding in Grixis!

See a shadow on the ground? Run. Hearing something skittering in the bushes? Hide. Is that people over there? Even worse. Everything is out to eat you, but at least it’s more exciting than those “Yoga, Kombucha, Pottery” Parties they’re throwing in Bant, right?

Journeying in Jund!

An equal mix of solitude and community is right for you. Have fun gardening and living off the land, just be sure you keep an eye on those roaming beasts. They won’t eat you, but they might flatten your house. At least it’s far from the office, and no one’s stealing your lunches anymore.

Napping in Naya!

Bant, Esper, Grixis, Jund, or Naya — which of Alara’s three-color shards would you live on?

Well, I'm not sure what you did, but I just learned that Nicol Bolas is after you...luckily, a character from the Magic Multiverse is on their way to help! Hopefully, you've got someone big and powerful on your side.

Uh Oh, You’re Nicol Bolas’s Next Target! See What Magic Character is Protecting You

The protection section: If Bolas catches up to, you're going to want to defend yourself, so what better place to hold up in than this part of the library?

The ramp section: The greatest way to fight back against Bolas is to have enough resources to do so. Time to flip through those spells in order to build up a stockpile of mana!

The removal section: The best defense is a good offense. Be sure to keep a special eye out for anything that can remove planeswalkers...

The pump spell section: If you're going to take Bolas head on, you'll need the strength to do so.

I couldn't find the perfect place to hide, so I just ran to the exit instead!

Distract him with a diversion, in order to catch him by surprise when he least expects it.

Take the time to build up a fort of defenses to guard yourself, in order to buy more time to plan his defeat.

Gather your friends from across the Multiverse to help keep you safe, things are better when you're surrounded by support.

It might be time to cut your losses and retreat at this point; he can't catch what never stays still.

Hide away in the wilderness as you grow your strength and organize your next plan of attack!

Start running around and helping deliver food to everyone in the crowd! Who knows, maybe you'll blend in with everyone else serving the food.

Follow the track, in order to find where it leads. Maybe it'll take you to a safer plane!

Wait till you see who wins, and try to enlist them into your ranks. Maybe they can give you a ride to safer worlds.

Try to get the crowd to go crazy with some chants; if everyone is going wild, it could make it harder to notice you in the audience.

This place is loud, and will just draw too much attention... Time to get out of there!

I want to be a Rabbit of course! There's power in all of these numbers, especially if you can help rally some forces.

Being a Frog could be a great option, since they can leap far distances, and even go for a swim if you need to.

That's a tough one, because it depends on where I wind up. I would want to fit in and make as many friends as possible, so I just hope I'm close to the creatures who will accept me!

Whatever creature is the fastest, or best at hiding or burrowing... A Lizard, a Rat? Sure, let's go for it.

I'd hope to become a Raccoon. They are known for going big, and that's what it's going to take to defeat Bolas!

While some fun does sound nice, I think I'm going to choose to get onto a Ferris Wheel in order to still have a good view of the possible danger coming my way.

I need to get on the carousel, I always love seeing everyone jump on the same ride in order to enjoy the experience together!

Oh, it's the roller coaster for sure! I love how far those things can travel, plus I'll just be a blur if Bolas tries to spot me.

I'm actually going to head to the carnival section, and see if anyone needs help running their games. Seeing people try to win big prizes sounds like fun to me!

This place looks really easy to spot... Where's the exit?

Ooof… ok, not good. You got Kwain… oh boy… he’s just a little Rabbit gentleman… ummmm… wow, maybe start running now? Ask him to dig a hole big enough for both of you to escape into? Dang… sorry.

Oh no... Kwain, Itinerant Meddler

Ok, I know this little guy isn't everyone's favorite, but he can make portals, which is nice for running away. So, I hope you enjoy traveling, because you're probably going to be doing a lot of that to stay away from Nicol Bolas.

Loot, Exuberant Explorer... Could be helpful

Sure, I know that this is a little bunny lady, but listen: you're going to be okay! Bolas won't take this rabbit seriously, just like everyone else, but he'll feel her wrath when he least expects it. Just like everyone else.

Woah, it's Ms. Bumbleflower!

Well, I don't know what you expected when it came to asking Norin for help, but he up and left before I could even introduce him. Looks like you're on your own... Sorry about that!

You got Norin the W... Oh, he's gone...

Now this is truly a stroke of good fortune! Ugin is the premier Bolas defense system in the Multiverse, so you really lucked out here. Count your blessings, because I think you'll make it out okay...or you'll get trapped in a prison realm with them both for a few decades... Congrats?

Oh, You got Ugin!

Nicol Bolas is after you, but a Magic character is on their way to help!

Step right up, step right up – as part of the ongoing Omenpath Reconciliation Program, we welcome you to Tarkir and have set up a system for those of you trying to integrate into our plane. It’s a very rigid, hardcore system, very wise and intelligent. It’s, uh… six questions. Look, we’ve been busy fighting off dragons, we don’t really have time for big trials or essays about your childhood.

What's Your Tarkir Clan?

A coffee shop allows for quiet warmth, good for mind, body, and soul.

A library sounds ideal – a place to study the past to steer the future properly.

A library is best – it lets our local communities keep in touch with one another and with their own histories.

A coffee shop, of course, it’s the ideal spot for everyone to gather and communicate their ambitions.

I’m not setting up anything, I need to stay on the move.

Snakes are cool — no, not as a guard animal, I just think they’re neat.

A dog to stay at my side through the long hunts.

…pet? I’m too much of a mess to be responsible for something else.

I want spirituality and hate crowds — I’ll go to Kamigawa.

I want connectivity and hate waste — I’ll go to Avishkar.

I want action and hate the quiet — I’ll go to Kylem.

I want solitude and hate being hot — I’ll go to Kaldheim.

I want community and hate the cold — I’ll go to Amonkhet.