The Unbeatable Squirrel GirlThe Unbeatable Squirrel Girl | Art by Kim Dingwall

Throughout recent history, relative to the dawn of the planet, humankind has had a serious fixation with the domestication of other animals. To varying degrees, this has worked on wolveswolves, felinesfelines, and even pigeonspigeons (which you can learn more about here). However, this article is 100% not about domesticated animals... Although, in a manner, it is. This deck tech, based around The Unbeatable Squirrel GirlThe Unbeatable Squirrel Girl, will give you a new appreciation for the world's nuttiest little critter. And who knows? In the process, you might even want to shoot for domestication of these little guys as well.

Who is Squirrel Girl?

Before we get into the deck tech, let's go over who exactly Doreen Green, also known as the superheroine called Squirrel Girl, is. Doreen has a genetic anomaly (but specifically not a mutation) that allows her to communicate with squirrels. She also has a prehensile tail. Her powers and abilities are largely squirrel-themed, as one would expect from a superhero named Squirrel Girl.

But why is she "unbeatable"? Simply put, Doreen has defeated Doctor DoomDoctor Doom, a feat that impressed even Tony StarkTony Stark, whom Doom had captured and whom Doreen was trying to rescue. She's even made friends with Galactus, who has since vowed never to eat the Earth so long as Doreen resides there. Furthermore, she and her squirrel sidekick, Tippy-ToeTippy-Toe, defeated M.O.D.O.K.M.O.D.O.K. and ThanosThanos by themselves at some point. "Unbeatable," indeed!

What Does The Unbeatable Squirrel GirlThe Unbeatable Squirrel Girl Do?

In the context of Magic: The Gathering and Marvel Super Heroes, The Unbeatable Squirrel GirlThe Unbeatable Squirrel Girl is a 4/4 for that creates a 1/1 green Squirrel token on entry and upon attacking. She can also double your Squirrel count as an activated ability costing as well. Because Doreen herself is a Squirrel (in addition to being a Human and a Hero), the first time you activate her ability should ideally yield at least two Squirrel tokens, but let's set aside the lede for a moment and talk about comparable commanders.

Commanders Comparable to Squirrel Girl

Off the bat, two commanders come to mind when we look at those similar to Doreen and her suite of abilities. One is Krenko, Mob BossKrenko, Mob Boss, a commander who's been in the limelight recently as a secondary commander for the Goblin Storm deck for Secret Lair. The other is Marrow-GnawerMarrow-Gnawer, a significantly weaker Rat-centric token producer from Champions of Kamigawa.

Krenko is certainly less powerful than Squirrel Girl in a variety of ways. For one, unless you have a haste enabler handy (although you probably will), Krenko cannot double your Goblins on the same turn count as Squirrel Girl quite as reliably. Marrow-Gnawer is even a little worse, suffering from the same issue as Krenko, plus not being in a reliable color for haste, plus needing to sacrifice a Rat to do so. Squirrel Girl goes Squirrel-positive immediately, as she creates one when she enters. What's more, Doreen is in colors that lend themselves very well to token accumulation. This deck is even more naturally inclined (ha!) to create Squirrels than red is to make Goblins.

Additionally, if we are looking to Squirrel-typal decks for comparisons to Doreen and her powerful suite of abilities, there's always Chatterfang, Squirrel GeneralChatterfang, Squirrel General to consider. Chatterfang, alongside Camellia, the SeedmiserCamellia, the Seedmiser and Hazel of the RootbloomHazel of the Rootbloom, is three of the current go-to in-universe Squirrel commanders. However, while these cards are each beyond adequate for Squirrel fans who decidedly don't like Universes Beyond, The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl truly has them all beat when it comes to Magic cards overall.

Squirrel Girl's Strategy

The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl's deck is going to want to go very wide, flooding the board with a downright untidy mass of Squirrel tokens. From there, we want to use any number of cards that tap creatures generically for green mana to flood it even more, ideally creating an infinite number of Squirrels wherever applicable. I haven't mentioned it yet, but this speedy strategy is going to put this combo deck pretty firmly at Bracket 4. I'm not the biggest fan of playing within Bracket 4. Therefore, I'm going to be exercising a bit of restraint with this build. To this end, I'm not including any Game Changers, despite having access to any number of them in green and colorless.

Key Cards for The Unbeatable Squirrel GirlThe Unbeatable Squirrel Girl

Squirrel Girl's deck wants to make as many Squirrel friends as possible. For this to happen, there are a few key categories we have to look at for this deck to function optimally:

• Mana Production: This category is the ultimate bread and butter of the deck. Because Squirrel Girl can be so mana-hungry, we need ways to make use of her ability over and over, and over, again. Much of the time, this involves giving the new Squirrel tokens the ability to tap for mana themselves.
• Haste Enablers: Some of the mana producers in this deck require the creatures Doreen makes to be able to tap for mana immediately. To that effect, we need ways to allow them to tap immediately. Haste is a great way to do this, but this category will include cards that simply skirt by without strictly granting haste as well.
• Squirrel Stampede!!!: These cards offer trample and a teamwide buff to ensure the game is closed out efficiently.

With these three categories in mind, let's look at what they include!

Mana Production

Not accounting for land-based ramp like fetchlands, the deck we are examining below features 49 pieces of straight-up mana production. Normally, this qualifies as one card less than I normally like to run. But, when we factor in the fetches and other forms of mana acceleration in the deck (like Wood ElvesWood Elves), that number surges well above the requisite 50 mana sources I prefer to play.

However, Wood Elves (et al) isn't why I'm bringing up mana production. In this deck, there are a few key pieces that we must run to properly combo out with Squirrel Girl. These cards include, but are not limited to:

• EarthcraftEarthcraft: A classically known menace in the 60-card Squirrel decks of old, this card will not only combo with Squirrel NestSquirrel Nest, but also allow Squirrel Girl to go infinite. All you need is four Squirrels, which can absolutely include Doreen herself. Was Doreen intentionally designed to do this? Verdict's out, but we're watching you closely now, Wizards. Unfortunately, this is a very expensive card in today's secondary market, clocking in at over $150 right now. Fortunately, there's no shortage of alternatives (if you think more creatively about the meaning of "alternatives").

• Cryptolith RiteCryptolith Rite and similar effects: Unlike the aforementioned Earthcraft, cards such as this, Enduring VitalityEnduring Vitality, A Realm RebornA Realm Reborn, Jaheira, Friend of the ForestJaheira, Friend of the Forest, and Citanul HierophantsCitanul Hierophants all require your new Squirrel tokens to have haste or some equivalent enablerment. See the section immediately below this for that category of cards. However, if you have these together with Squirrel Girl, you'll have the same effect as having an Earthcraft out.

• Your average mana dorks: The deck also runs a whole suite of mana-producing creatures. We don't really have to go into those, but it bears mention that every comic book hero has a bevy of dorks supporting the franchise, right? I truly mean that with all the endearment in my own dorky heart.

Haste Enablers

This brings us to the second full category of important cards in a deck based around The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl. For many of the above cards, you need a way to tap immediately. If you can't, infinity can't come soon enough to close out a game. To this end, we have a ton of important cards on the list.

• Concordant CrossroadsConcordant Crossroads: The cheapest enabler in the deck, this is one card that you can curve into Doreen really easily. The line I would want to utilize is detailed below. Just be aware that this card grants all creatures haste, not just your own.
• Thousand-Year ElixirThousand-Year Elixir and Shang-Chi, Master of Kung FuShang-Chi, Master of Kung Fu: Both of these options are great ways to mitigate the relative lack of haste in the deck. Both are instantly going to be staples in decks led by Squirrel Girl because of their utility in the combo lines presented. Sure, they won't allow attacks immediately, but faced against a huge army of Squirrels, most players (bar those holding up a copy of Rakdos CharmRakdos Charm) will just scoop. Shang-Chi, in particular, premiered in Marvel Super Heroes and is extremely good as it costs one mana less than Thousand-Year Elixir.

Squirrel Stampede!!!

I can already hear the demoralized moans and groans from a ton of you if you've played Marvel Rivals. But for me, the sound of Doreen shouting her Squirrel-rallying battle-cry is enough to... Well, do whatever the opposite of "demoralize" is. In any event, the following five cards are strong teamwide buffs to close out the game definitively:

• OverrunOverrun: A classic. To reuse an old comic cliche, 'nuff said!
• Overwhelming StampedeOverwhelming Stampede: A more modern take on the genre. This one looks at overall power, and usually that'll mean at least +4/+4 to the team. Also see Pathbreaker IbexPathbreaker Ibex for a more repeatable, creature version of the effect.
• Triumph of the HordesTriumph of the Hordes: Another take on the classic Overrun effect. This time with infect added, to synergize a bit with Bloodroot ApothecaryBloodroot Apothecary where it matters.
• Craterhoof BehemothCraterhoof Behemoth: Everybody loves Hoofy! This is especially true when his high mana cost is mitigated by the sheer glut of mana you're able to produce quickly with this deck.

How Does The Unbeatable Squirrel GirlThe Unbeatable Squirrel Girl Win?

As mentioned above, our plan is twofold. First, we want to enact out our infinite Squirrel token combo. This could take the form of legitimately any route you have on hand. Afterwards, we want to defeat our opponents with them swinging for the fences. The plan is potentially aided by an OverrunOverrun effect of any flavor we'd like.

Ideally, my perfect line from Turn 1 onwards is the following, in this order:

• T1: Forest, Concordant CrossroadsConcordant Crossroads
• T2: Forest, EarthcraftEarthcraft
• T3: Forest, Chatter of the SquirrelChatter of the Squirrel, ChatterstormChatterstorm, Wood ElvesWood Elves (tapping the three Squirrels to cast it via Earthcraft)
• T4: Forest, The Unbeatable Squirrel GirlThe Unbeatable Squirrel Girl, make infinite Squirrel tokens and infinite mana, swing with the Squirrel squad to win the game!

Obviously, eight cards means one's opening hand could achieve this. Granted, this is all within what most anyone would call a "magical Christmasland" scenario. Thankfully, there are two added draws to shore the odds up by a smidge. Either way, that's the perfect, best-case scenario if uninterrupted. The deck is highly linear, but that's not always a bad thing in Bracket 4.

The Unbeatable Squirrel GirlThe Unbeatable Squirrel Girl Commander Deck List

Conclusion

Well, there you have it! This deck, based around The Unbeatable Squirrel GirlThe Unbeatable Squirrel Girl, was a blast to build. Doreen Green will surely be quite strong at the table at my friendly local game store. It's probably going to, dare I say it, drive my friends... Absolutely nuts.

And with that, I'd like to open the floor to you, dear readers! What would you do with an endless army of Squirrels if you had them in real life? Alternatively, are you inspired to build around Squirrel Girl in any other ways? (Also, what's your ideal form of nut butter? I'm just curious because my protein intake needs shoring up.) Sound off in the comments below!