Ranking Every Equipment with EDHREC – Part 15: One Hundred Followed by a Million Zeros
The Cream of the Crop
Welcome back to the silly series where we rank every single Equipment based on the number of decks they have on EDHREC! We've finally made it to the top 100! We made it through the definitely-not-playables, the questionably-playables, and the absolutely playable cards obscured by time, but now we reach the pinnacle of Equipment! Everything from here on in must be the cream of the crop. The best Equipment that money and mana can buy. Truly, I think we're ready for ten parts full of nothing but incredible Equipme -
Oh. Um. Maybe I won't celebrate just yet.
100:: 1,749 Decks
95:: 1,871 Decks
I guessand are fine in and "Cheerios" decks. They're better than , which is.... neat. They can go and live with all the other zero-mana Equipment we've seen already.
I just... I try so hard.
Over, Under, or Just Right? Overplayed: How could this happen to me?
99:: 1,772 Decks
Now normally, a card like my jeepers creepers scale, but I don't even know what's going on in this art. The perspective is super odd, and what the heck is that blue void it's floating in? I'm really just more confused than anything.would score very highly on
I'm also just kinda bemused byas a whole because it's one of the rare cases of "reverse power creep," especially within Commander cards. Like, okay, you have , which is a fine Equipment for some decks that care about the life loss, but it's not making a giant splash in Commander. So then they set out to make another Equipment like , and you would expect them to make the card better, right? Make it more flashy so it makes more on an impact on the format.
They might have tried to do that withby giving it Living Weapon, coming down with its own creature so it becomes a problem right away, but they also made it cost five mana. Five! And then also still cost three to Equip, so is just clearly the better card. Not only that, they also removed deathtouch, which means any blocker just stops this card in its tracks. You obviously want to play with ways to make the creature unblockable, but again, it costs five, so just run the Spike, which costs less.
This isn't even, like, a side grade. You know, like ato a that has specific applications where the other doesn't. is basically just worse than Spike in every way. Is that a good thing? Like, I don't like when Wizards just invalidates an old card, but is this the way around that? The longer I stare at this, the more confused I am.
Over, Under, or Just Right? Just Right: I mean, for all that ink I just spilled, there are decks that want two copies of, so it's got a home. I'm more just befuddled by the philosophy.
98:: 1,811 Decks
Okay, what is this? Wizards! Wizards, explain yourself! Why on earth is there this random Equipment that gives a creature +0/+6? "Oh, I can make all my creatures!" Like, you see why this is weird, right?
It wasn't even good when it came out! It's only afterwards thatand and and and and freaking came out and retroactively gave this card a purpose. Heck, it's still not good now! It's synergistic, and it works well, but it's not because itself has relevant text, it's because it has somehow warped reality around itself to the point where the text becomes good! What the heck?
Over, Under, or Just Right? Just Right: I could maybe argue it doesn't even belong in the 'toughness matters' decks, but I feel like the longer I stare at this, the more I'm likely to just have an actual fever dream.
97:: 1,831 Decks
So, if you're gonna play a, you shouldn't. You should be playing instead.
Okay, maybe that's a bit of hyperbole.is fine, but Bonesplitter is about as close as you can get to a straight up replacement. The exchange of two power for two mana still isn't an amazing deal, but it is actually okay in a Voltron Equipment deck, like . is a workhorse and should be the card you're eventually replacing all those s with.
Over, Under, or Just Right? Underplayed: This andare the cream of the crop. Yeah, remember that card? That's also far too low.
96:: 1,860 Decks
Oh, no! How truly difficult the downside of that meet that description could there possibly be? None that are popular, certainly, and Voltron decks never want to increase the power of their commander at all! The card's just far too hard to build around. What a shame!is to overcome! Three power and trample for two mana is a good rate if you're trying to win with commander damage, but whatever shall we do to find a creature with a whole three power?!?! I mean really, how many creatures
Over, Under, or Just Right? Underplayed: Yeah, this card is an excellent inclusion for budget Voltron decks and should absolutely see more play. It's even from Saviors of Kamigawa! It's not often we get to be excited about Saviors of Kamigawa.
94:: 1,875 Decks
Similar to, exists in this very strange realm of Spellslinger decks that also want to attack with creatures, which is a weird niche. This card is absolutely strongest in decks like , that have good fodder for it, or , that already want to attack anyway. I've definitely seen this card win games in a spell-focused deck with a combat gameplan.
I'm less sold on it in all the hardline control decks. It's a little more playable thanin your average deck as a type of "finisher," and I see a lot of hardline control commanders, like , on this page, but I don't think it's actually worth it. If you aren't particularly creature-dense, or don't play a lot of evasion, Pike gets a lot worse. You put it on your , and it makes him massive, but he's getting chump blocked forever. There are just a lot of places where Pike doesn't win the game, and in Spellslinger-style control decks, it's competing against cards like , , ... you get the idea. Pike wants to go fast, but the nature of the strategy means we're going slower, and it's just not worth it.
Over, Under, or Just Right? Overplayed: Although I did see it one time in adeck where the only win condition was to win with Flbthp commander damage. That's not good, but I must respect it.
93:: 1,880 Decks
Hey! Long time, no see, Kaldra! Yes, we may have talked about the Kaldra game in the last article, but the other two pieces have a little bit of extra utility, so they see a little bit of extra play outside the traditional Kaldra decks.
In this case, we have, which, in addition to being part of the silliest mini-game ever, is also just a that cost one more to cast and two more to Equip. It even has indestructible itself, for that extra layer of delicious protection. Mmmmmmmm.
Shame that at the end of the day, you don't need a a lot of decks that need ways to protect their commander, so maybe there're decks that might want two Equipment that grant indestructible...that's worse in basically every way. Technically, is slightly more expensive, but Shield is still $10, so you might as well just spend the little bit extra for the cheaper Equip cost. If you just want to protect your commander, there's no reason you'd run Shield over Plate. However, there are
...In which case they can runand leave for all the jank players! Good, I'm glad we figured that out.
Over, Under, or Just Right? Overplayed: Let me be clear:is still in 70% of decks running , so there are not a lot of decks running Shield purely just because it gives indestructible, but overplayed is overplayed.
92:: 2,002 Decks
I had to make sure we hadn't talked aboutyet. Nope! It's actually got a good lead over Flail here. I guess being $2 and one more mana to cast is just enough to leave this card far behind. Really, though, the two cards are basically identical. If you're into deathtouch so much you'll run an Equipment that does nothing else but grant it, you might as well run two.
And trust me, you'll know when you're that into deathtouch, because the decks running commander pingers! AKA, commanders that deal damage to other creatures, à la . There're a million different commanders that fit this category. You got the classic pinger commander in . You've got modern pingers with upside, like and . You've got big pingers, like and , and weird pingers, like . You've got terrible pingers, like and . Pingers with upside, like , pingers with infinite combos, like . and and and and... and and.... ... , and... whoooooooooooooooooooof.....are running it for a very simple reason:
*Huff huff huff* I think I overdid it... need to *cough cough* catch my breath... I don't remember what we were talking about, but I... I need to lie down.
Over, Under, or Just Right? Underplayed: Ooookay, where were we? Oh, right. Spooky snake thing. It's not only the pinger decks running this. There's some stuff likethat mix the deathtouch with first strike, but it's all for the same purpose of threatening to kill creatures. You'll have a good idea when these cards are good.
91:: 2,030 Decks
Ugggggggggggggggggh. Why are there so many zeeerrrrrrroooooooooooooooooes?
Okay, at least, at least,has a little bit more I can talk about. Namely, that it's also doing a fairly solid impression. It's not like that +1 toughness ever really mattered on anyway, so you might as well save yourself a whole one extra mana on casting it. Oh joy!
Yeah, if my sarcasm isn't coming through clear enough, I'll say I'm still not super enthused about this. Is it bad to useas a cheap Equipment to trigger synergies like and ? No. As a card generally though, is it better than and its ilk? Probably, but you can do so much better. Run and get your Equipment synergies turned on for free, or run and save the Equip cost that you're gonna be paying more than the casting cost. Or you could even pay an extra mana - gasp, I know - and get a card with relevant text, like or . Like, Bone Saw is fine, but it's just fine!
Over, Under, or Just Right? Overplayed: Although again, like, 70% of the play on this card is just because it costs zero mana, so my complaining doesn't even really matter. Also, BONE SAW IS READYYYYY!
And Another Thing That Does Not Matter...
Well, they weren't all winners, but there was some good stuff tucked away in the top 100, so let me know what you think of this batch so far! Do you have a pinger commander with? Do you have something cute with ? Let me know in the comments. Until next week!