Ranking Every Equipment with EDHREC – Part 7: Going to Grab Some Food
Brevity is Underrated
Hi. Welcome to this series where we rank every Equipment based on the number of decks they have on EDHREC. Let's get right into it.
I'm sorry, uh. Can we start the list now?
You're waiting for a funny opening? Sucks to be you, I guess. I spent all my energy brewing Strixhaven, and quite frankly, you should, too. Article now. Tut tut. Let's go!
190:: 296 Decks
My first thought with was to look at stuff that works with , but surprisingly, a lot of Coating's cute synergies comes from targeting opponents' creatures. Outside of some real shenanigans, you can’t use stuff like with .
My next thought was that maybe there's a creature I could abuse that mentioned artifacts but that wasn't an artifact itself, but I looked through all those, and the best that I could find that worked with was, like, ? Underwhelming would be an understatement.
So if you're not doing any of that, maybe you're turning a creature into an artifact so they work well with other artifacts? Like, there’s, and the shtick of that deck is to tap and untap him a million times, so maybe you want Silverskin to help Macar work with stuff like ? At that point though, we're drifting towards "I'm playing six bad cards when I could just be playing " levels of jank.
Over, Under, or Just Right? Overplayed: I'm honestly a bit disappointed. It's not often something very unique is actually so utterly boring
189:: 298 Decks
has about one purpose, and it's to abuse it with creatures like or . It's like a build-your-own going on here where you just lock creatures out forever. One trick pony, but a fun one.
Over, Under, or Just Right? Just Right: All super cute, but it’s definitely not a random Equipment card.
188:: 305 Decks
The more I see cards like, the more upset I am that doesn't work like I want. Like, yeah, Arrows still work incredibly well with deathtouch, and you don’t have to get into combat to make Arrows work, but you have to pay two mana every time you wanna do it. Is it still worth playing Equipment like this when you have to invest five mana just to start killing creatures? It's certainly way less appealing, at the very least.
Over, Under, or Just Right? Just Right: It's still fine in the deathtouch tribal decks, and maybe it's okay in , but now I just look at these and ask what might have been.
187:: 307 Decks
Now, if you want to play an Equipment that gives a stupid amount of power and toughness, you might as well run a really cool one like Samurai decks, and what could be cooler than a Samurai with a dragon sword!. Plus, a lot of decks running this card are
What's the card do? Doesn't matter, it looks cool, and no one that actually cares about the power level is even looking at it.
Over, Under, or Just Right? Just Right: Here’s a combo for r/badMTGcombos: , , , , , , and three spare mana. How this goes infinite is left as an exercise to the reader.
186:: 312 Decks
The awkward thing about Guildgates to support it. +4 or +5 power with minor evasion can make anything a good threat, and in Magical Christmasland, this can be 9-12 power with some and . Even if it does cost three to Equip, it would still be worth it in decks that care about damage.is that it can be very powerful when you have the
The problem is that Gates is not that deck. a trap card. It’s really only good in a Gates deck, but it also does not fit in a Gates deck in any way.is the primary win condition for Gates, and it's about as far about caring about life totals as you can get. A lot of the backup win conditions are either Landfall cards, like , or big mana cards, like , combined with or the like. There's not really anything for to do. It's what our editor would call
Over, Under, or Just Right? Overplayed: I think you could build a variant of Gates that wanted Glaive, but it would be a very strange deck.
185:: 317 Decks
Quick question: who on Earth, Ravnica, Dalmasca, or Viridian Forest decided this should cost three to Equip? At first glance, you may have thought this was a card, but no, read it again. This cards makes it so flying creatures can’t block your dorks; ground creatures can still eat your dorks all day long! In theory, what you’ll want to do with this card is put it on a flying creature since it would make them unblockable, but isn't the point of flying creatures that they're going to be mostly unblockable anyway? What a nothing mechanic.
Over, Under, or Just Right? Overplayed: This honestly should in, like, the bottom 20 Equipment. It's baaaaaaaaaaaad.
184:: 321 Decks
I spent a lot of time theorizing about Human commanders want lifelink, like , but after I did all that, I said “wow. That’s a lot of work to play a bad ,” so I wrote this down and moved on.and what decks with
Over, Under, or Just Right? Overplayed: Then I realized I didn’t have an overplayed section, so I kept the past introspective bit going so I didn’t have to write another joke.
183:: 328 Decks
Woah-Nelly! This is even more of a stupid show of aggression than Mind Crush in real life. Even the Equip all decks like don’t seem to make this one work. Feels pretty win more in the end, but not in a funny way.. Unfortunately, this one doesn't do anything for me. Equip five is just a million years away. Imagine paying five to Equip that and getting got by . I think that's about as close as you could get to a
Over, Under, or Just Right? Overplayed: Although, if you do play this against me, I would deeply respect you.
182:: 338 Decks
Joey, our resident already gushed about this card in Feather since she tends to be very Voltron-esque, and also has a bunch of cheap stuff like that she wants to cast every single turn. is the perfect intersection between those two ideas.evangel, has
It's the perfect intersection for a lot of decks honestly. Basically everything said for Feather applies to, too. Doesn't take much to make Shu Yun lethal with Emblem attached to him. Some commanders that I don't see on this page, but also line up really well for Emblem are and . They both have the potential to play like traditional spellslinger, but then also can also randomly storm off and attack for 16.
The more I look at spellslinger decks, or the hardcore Voltron decks, but if you're the type of person that eats Lasagna French Fries, then is the type of card you want to help your Voltron and Spellslinger elements stick together., the more I think it's criminally underplayed. I wouldn't play it in the hardcore
Over, Under, or Just Right? Underplayed: One other secret hiding on this cards page, though? Infect. Oh, yeahhhhhhhh.
181:: 345 Decks
It's literally my job to theorize why things see play, and I have no idea whyis seeing play. I cannot fathom why four mana to give a creature two power is this high. Last reprint was in Jumpstart, there's no synergies of any kind that I can find with it. I got nothing. I guess I just failed my life. That's a bummer.
Over, Under, or Just Right? Overplayed: Seriously, if you know why this is so high, please tell me.
180:: 348 Decks
Wizards, walk me through your thought process when creating this card. You wanted to make a three-color Equipment. You came up with one of the most metal names you could possibly give the card:! You then decided to give it one of the trickiest but awesome mana costs possible, and you got this giant art that looks like it’s straight from a 90's magazine for 12-year-olds. You have the perfect recipe to make the coolest dang Equipment ever.
And then when everything was set up to make this card a slam-dunk, you decided to just give up on the card text. "Oh, it gives some random buff and then has some text about making Zombies when it deals damage to creatures. Whatever." You took a card with an incredible allure of power to it, but then didn't actually give it anything to justify the allure. I'm both mad and disappointed.
Over, Under, or Just Right? Overplayed: I’m as close to the target audience for this as you can get. If I’m not into this, I doubt anyone is.
179:: 351 Decks
is an excellent example of the Equip cost butchering the card. Most of the time, you’re gonna cast your three- or four-mana commander, then the turn after that you’re gonna play Armaments, but oh, wait, you lack the four mana to Equip, so you pass the turn. Then next turn, you pay the four mana to Equip, and your opponent your commander. Well, now you’re toast because you have to spend five or six mana to recast your commander, and then another four to Equip. You’ve spent over 20 mana just to make this card do anything!
Over, Under, or Just Right? Overplayed: Evencan’t justify the effort to make this work.
178:: 356 Decks
This is a very expensive sacrifice outlet. You wanna play this, you’re gonna need some major synergy., I guess? Even then, I’m not thrilled.
Over, Under, or Just Right? Overplayed: Although on the bright side, this is by far the best of the Living Weapon arts. It's nothing more than a weird spider. Pretty tame, honestly.
177:: 362 Decks
"Whenever Equipped creature dies", you say? Okay, how many creatures have to die before this is worth playing in an Aristocrats deck? Four? Five? That's not bad but it's... tricky. If this were free to Equip, I’m totally into it, but the mana just makes it so slow.
On the other hand, I can totally imagine getting smashed by this card in, as it turns any Zombie into a 7/7. I’m very torn. It’s not an Equipment card, or a bog standard aggro card, but in an aristocrats deck, I think it could be good… maybe?
Over, Under, or Just Right? Just Right: I'll be interested to see if anyone has any experience playing with or against this.
176:: 362 Decks
Anyone up for Food? I mean, Food was busted In Standard, but that was mainly off the back of four being monumentally busted. Scaling to Commander a mechanic whose sole purpose is just to gain life? That's a tough sell.
As I write this, 20 or so other cards that make Food, and a lot of them are, uh, not great. Even if you can convince yourself that is a good Magic card that is worthy of being cast off of , a lot of the payoffs for Food are just random Standard fodder, like and . and are slightly better, but they need more Food than you can ever realistically generate off even the good Food cards, like .just got spoiled, so there's technically a commander for Food, but there’s only
However, while there is no direct payoff for Food itself, there are a lot of general artifact token payoffs.does not need a lot of Food to go off. will love making all the Food into something more threatening. will get you a little more than just a couple life. All of these cards do make the Food much more potent, but the few Food cards that are worth playing still require playing a bunch of other bad cards to make it work.
Over, Under, or Just Right? Just Right: There might be a deck that plays the best cards of all the bad artifact token tribes, but it certainly wouldn’t be playing.
There are Giants Baking Pieeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Uh, outro. What did you think about this batch? I honestly thought there were some legit interesting toys here. Did I miss a combo for? Have you built a Food deck before? Let me know somewhere on the internet! Until next week, brew something fun!